Consent and Altered States

Hello Beautiful Beings, I’ve just gotten back from a writing retreat in Boulder, during which I edited and worked on my forthcoming book, Become Your Own Beloved. I am so excited to share this project with the world. From dating to wedding myself, I have found immense meaning and joy in cultivating my partnership with myself, and I am excited to share the tools I have learned on this journey. (I have already begun to share pieces of my book with my Patrons.) This also comes perfectly in time with my 12th anniversary for my self-marriage.  I’m always surrounded by…

Continue reading

Rope As Sacred Ritual

Hello Beautiful Beings, There is magic present in the lines between us. We are a web of fate, for as the Fates of Greek mythology showed us, one sister spins our lives, the second measures, and the third cuts. Then, we are woven together in a tapestry. When one life touches upon ours, the lives of both of us is changed. Fibers, ropes, and bondage are a beautiful metaphor for how we touch each other. I never met Olivia Newton-John, but her life touched on mine as a theatre kid, as a Leather person, as a person finding my way.…

Continue reading

Kinky Konnections

Hello Beautiful Beings, We live in a disconnected world, disconnected from both ourselves and our communities. The ongoing pandemic has isolated many of us from family and friends, exacerbating the loneliness and isolation felt by many living with chronic illnesses and disabilities and/or by those experiencing marginalization at the hands of their families or community members. Moreover, trauma can disconnect you from your own body as you dissociate in order to survive and move forward. Reconnecting or continuing to connect with yourself and community can be a complex and ongoing process. Reconnecting or exploring your connection to yourself may involve…

Continue reading

Bodily Autonomy and Objectification

Hello Beautiful Beings, I recently returned from camping in the area of Rainbow Lakes in Colorado. It was a chance for my Boy and I, as partners, to step away from the work we both do as educators and consultants and take a deep breath away from technology. With Roe v. Wade being overturned, with the constant onslaught against transgender people, with the death penalty having adjustments made for religious desires at the time of death… it just keeps coming in. Things that affect me, and the people I care about, directly.  Breathing in the trees and climbing towards an…

Continue reading

Accessing Kink: BDSM and Disabilities

Hello beautiful beings, Being a being with often invisible disabilities can be frustrating on a number of levels. Not being able to sit on a zoom call because my hips are being problematic affects the schedules of others. Having problems walking because of intense vertigo limits where I can go. Having my mood disorder affect my upbeat way I try to approach the world can be frustrating. But people, unless you live in the skins of people whose bodies and minds do not do what other bodies and minds can do affect our sexuality too. When my hands are tremmoring…

Continue reading

Conscious Energy Flow, Sacred Kink, and Gender Rituals

Hello beautiful beings, I am just back from DC where I had the chance to officiate a beautiful black-tie wedding. With people from at least 6 countries in attendance, it was wonderful to see a blend of experiences that come together in one pair of individuals. There was punk pagan and foreign royalty, immaculate old money and modern queer beauty, older lesbian and young straight polyamorous energy all in one place, which truly represented the couple well. The joke from the groom stood though that the venue had likely never seen a group of people perform to a live rendition…

Continue reading

Kinky Campers Have S’more Fun!

Hello beautiful beings, I write to you from the Baltimore, Maryland area, loading up the gear from the staff of Camp Crucible as we prep to pack in for this amazing 9-day event. Over breakfast we talked about what has been happening on the DC venue The Crucible for which the event is named, and it is fantastic to hear about all of the events that have been happening there from dance parties to dungeons, weddings to safe spaces for often oppressed populations. It has also been beautiful talking about the founder of this space, “Uncle Frazier,” who passed away a few…

Continue reading

Age Play, Kinky Camping, and Self Bondage, oh my!

Hello beautiful beings, I have just gotten back from Colorado Leather Fest and re-packed for my upcoming weekend at the Academy of Fetish Arts in Cleveland. The event was an intense emotional ride that many people I know are processing right now. I am so grateful for having attended the class “Queer LeatherSex in the 21st Century” by Sir Luke and His victor, as well as getting to know them better. It was such a delight to reconnect with MitaBear and Team Soup at the event, as well as so many others I had not seen in a long time.…

Continue reading

Authenticity, Animal Roleplay, Identity, and Connection

Hello beautiful beings, Spring has fully sprung and Denver is alive with greens returning to the trees and the squirrels playing what I call “Squirrel TV.” What is Squirrel TV you ask? It is when I can sit for hours at my front windows watching the squirrels live out their lives full of delight, drama, challenge, and stillness – because who needs TV when you can have squirrels.  I just got back from Austin, Texas, where I had the honor of getting to teach and lead five classes or discussions at Leather Pride in Texas. I loved getting to co-lead…

Continue reading

Queer Magic, Erotic Pain Processing, and Leather Pride

Hello beautiful beings, This past week I did something for the first time – I put one of tarot spreads out into the world.This This past week I did something for the first time – I put one of tarot spreads out into the world. The RACK tarot spread is a way to examine risk, awareness, consent, and the kinks in our life using tarot cards, whether doing divination or as journaling prompts… or even if looking for inspiration when planning an erotic encounter with a partner. Combining this with attending a great tarot class with Kaí Henderson from Our Daily Magic…

Continue reading