The room trade begins, and a rant on leather

Or at least my initial part, moving shit out of the current space, has begun in earnest. The bookshelf, all my adult and personal books, my armoir and 80% of the clothes, ritual stuff, wigs, 4 moving boxes full of shoes, my bondage gear trunk, etc have all ready been moved into the living room. I'm trying to go through a huge stack of jibbles, and this morning managed to purge 3 more pairs of heels, a hat, and pair of amazing brown leather boots (ren faire meets rodeo drive) style that were the very first pair of boots I ever bought myself when I was 16 years old with one of my first pay checks from Wizards of the Coast who I honestly don't think realized how old I was when they hired me as they regularly had me work overnight shifts on weekdays which is illegal for folks under 18- but I was in college at the time, so yeah. I will miss these boots, but I have not worn them for almost 3 years, and they were at the bottom of a storage box, so like the glitter platform heels that I purged last week, they will be missed, but not forgotten.I bought these boots down at an upscale shoe shop near pike place market, one block up that stupid hill from the market itself, near the garlic restraunt. I remember trying them on, and then seeing the price tag ($125 I believe) and as a kid who had just effectively stopped being on the street, I thought "what in the world am I thinking?", but the leather felt like a second skin, and the brown matched my hair color perfectly, and I couldn't stop drooling. Yes, I acquired my Carolina boots that are kind of my signature piece that same year- but those were bought for me by mi Madre... so not the same.It's strange, I don't consider myself to really be part of the leather community, or at least haven't in the past. Its why I have never run for a title. Not the scene politics, not any of that stuff, but because when running for a title requires at least two leatherwear outfits, and all the leather I have is boots, gloves and belts (ok, now 2 leather corsets, but those are only in the past 2 years), it never seemed right to me. The leather scene and the BDSM scene have grown up side by side, or at least with joined histories, in the United States. But the reality is, the leather titles and leather community and the BDSM/Kink community (whatever that entails) are in fact different beasts. There is a complaint from many folks in the BDSM community that "OMG, He looks hot in the wardrobe, but he's not even kinky!" when they hear of some of the folks who have won titles. Yes, the two scenes have blended over the years, but the reality is that Mr. Oregon Leather, International Mr. Leather etc are LEATHER community titles. With more and more of the judges being in the BDSM community, the crossover has gotten firmer I think, with straight and bi people running for the titles and even winning, an interesting thing for a series that came out of the gay community. But yeah, I in the past have never felt it appropriate to run for said titles.I do have a boot fetish though, I love good boots- I love bootblacking (and being blacked), even if as a black I am really not that good. I love boot licking. I love being trampled. I love the act of being down on the ground down at someon's boots. I have two incredibly happy memories that make me really go yes, boots are my thing- LthrEdge's boots and cigars class at Leather Retreat a number of years ago, where he blacked my boots in class and then tied me up in my boots and in general yes, oh yes (YES, *that* Edge blacked *my* boots, swoooooon). The other was a boot party held at Rogueboi's house a few years ago that involved, well, Hubbards as lube and BBJim's Thigh high Wescos... god damn he was hot as hell in those. Yup, I think because of BBJim I do get leather more, mostly because I want to have him black me from head to toe some year.I do have a thing for leather gloves. Well, lots of types of gloves honestly, but there is something very sensual about leather goves to me. The way they snug to the shape of the hand and grip on like my hand sliding into a tight cunt. The smell as they grip down over my face and I struggle to breathe. The thwack sound as I use them like a short whip against someone's chest or face. Its why I need to get back to Rome. I only have 3 pairs of leather gloves right now- lilac that I bought in NYC at a tiny glove shop when hanging out with Sinnamon Love, a pair I bought myself at Nordstroms that have sadly since been turned into my cigar gloves as they were used for an ashing scene and are not really wearable any more, and a pair of calf skin gloves that Mamma Laura in Melbourne bought for me this last trip. I need to get back to Rome though because my favorite glove store in the world is there. I do not know its name. Mi padre and I went to Rome in 2000 for the Jubilee, and if Catholicisim were like my experience at the Sopra de Minerva, I would be back in the fold... but it is not. But one day we decided to wander the city on our pilgrims pass (I'm a card carrying pilgrim), eat cheap food as pilgrims, and then spend all our money on *stuff*. I recall being at the Spanish Steps, with the fountain behind me and back to the left side. I wandered down the street, and saw the high end shops on my right. One or two blocks down on the left was a steep set of stairs, and people were coming out holding thin red bags. We went inside, and the first floor was generic gloves, but the second story, wandering past signed photos from world leaders and media icons, was where you could either (a) have them measure your hand and tell you what they have in stock in 7 or 8 styles and 25 colors or, (b) measure you for custom gloves. I picked up three pairs of gloves, all deep purple (to match all the custom latex I'd bought the 2 previous years), one set unlined, one set lined in silk, and one set lined in soft wool. In the following 2 years I proceeded to loose the right hand glove of every set. I still have one left hand glove here I think, but it is depressing.And my leather corsets- one is a tale of woe and frustration, and the other was partially bartered for and paid for by a client the rest of the way... so they look great on me, but they are not necessarily sexual for me.My belt- is new to me. A few months back, after my gender box got re-opened, I had a panic attack and had to go buy new mens jeans. I'd gotten rid of my last pair because they had a hold in one knee, were covered in paint, and were so big they fell off my hips. So, at the half off rack at Hot Topic I found a pair that were a bit loose on me, but felt so good, and looked good. But I felt a tad absurd with them loose, so I bought a plain black leather belt. I'd owned a few belts in the past, but they were either decorated, or to be honest, I just never wore them. This one I have worn a LOT in the last few months, and have taken to belt wearing in general with most of my jeans. I got to break it in on Preston (and break in his own belt on him), and for that, I thank him.So I have an odd relationship with the idea of earning my leathers. My leather jacket, that I almost never wear, belonged for over a decade to one of my dearest friends, even if he is an asshole, Rune. It has the "One Ring" poem inked on it in Scottish Gaelic, which means I can't even read it as I can only sor of read Irish Gaelic. But it was a gift from him when he found out the one leather jacket I had owned (which had also been a gift) had been borrowed by my first girlfriend, Caroline, and when we broke up she wouldn't give it back.My main boots I wear to leather/bdsm events were a gift from mi Madre, and have been across North and Central America, Europe, Asia, into the Middle East, and Australia with me. In Ireland I inked sigils into them in Ogam and a few other random bits of alchemical woojieness.I've never been gifted with a Daddy's cap, as hell, I'm not a Daddy. I have no tale of earning my boots. I've never had to polish 100 pairs to earn the right to call myself a boot black or any of that, and thus while I know how to black, I would never claim that title. I've been gifted items, but not in a scene context- they are all gifts of love from friends or family. But many of my gloves and boots I have bought for myself. Because to be honest, gifting to me in a scene context... just hasn't happened that often.I have been handed piercing gear that has been in my flesh, and hold on to almost all of it to this day.I was gifted with my steel ring by Sluggo for my rope bondage work (which was amazing and wonderful)But beyond that...it's all been from Preston.Its one of a thousand reasons I love my boy. He keeps seeing the holes in my life and if he can't fill them, offers up a mirror and says, Sir, you need to take care of this.He gifted me with a blade after we had an indredibly hot and intimate scene at Dv8House in the basement.He gifted me with my black hankie the night of Hellfire Sydney after our show with Zoo.So I've never earned any leather. And I'm not sure how I feel about that. Because as I said, I'm not really into leather, but its something I've had on my brain in the last few months... how can I truly help my boy reearn his leathers if I, myself, have never earned mine.