Distraction

I have had guilt over a processing tool I use.Distraction.Over the years I have had a number of different individuals, when I hit an emotional spiral and am spinning with my issues, say I have to keep digging.  I do, and I spiral deeper, deeper, into an emotional abyss- brands on my arms a regular reminder that I can pull myself out of the ocean of my heart.So I sometimes distract myself.  Get up, move, do something different.  Put the emotions on pause, partially dissociate from the experience for a moment, and go do something.  Hang some art, go grocery shopping, write something totally different.  Get myself back on the surface for a breath of air before I dive again.And I have been told by a handful of folks whose opinion mattered to me, that this was me avoiding issues, procrastinating, or causing myself further heartache by burying my feelings.There are times when I do those things, and I am working to discern between the two.  But sometimes, if the spiral looks bad… distraction really helps.  Get me solid again, get me functional again, then let me tackle the big stuff before me.  If I can’t breathe, how do you expect me to wrestle?Today I work towards forgiving myself my need for distraction as a useful tool, acknowledge how useful it is in my life, and slowly move towards embracing how my glorious, beautiful and functioning mind works.