Kinky, Chronically Ill, And Queer - March15 Newsletter
Hello Beautiful Beings,
Where I live, the days are getting longer and warmer but even as the sun has called to me the last few days, my body has called me to rest.
Living with disability and chronic illness means that sometimes I need long rests after carrying boxes up the stairs, sometimes I need to cancel plans with beloveds, and sometimes I need to cancel my own classes. I want to thank my wonderful community for understanding when cancellations happen, as was the case recently with my Approaches to Oral Sex class with Karada House having to be rescheduled for April 3rd and my Ritual of Sacred Individuality for March 25th.
I have gotten a lot of messages about "getting better," which is a wonderful blessing - except when it is not. Chronic health realities mean that it does not necessarily get better. It is not a case of the flu that passes in time. Better comes and goes and then goes further and may not return. There are windows that are better, absolutely - and thank you for the gift of those wishes to find those times again. For those of us living with disabilities though, "get better" may not exist in the way it does for you, our able-bodied beloveds.
The gifts have been beautiful with creative intimacy though. I toss down keys to friends who will walk up my apartment stairs I can't readily get down, and they bring with them lemon bar cookies, clown stories, laughter, and their life evolutions unfolded like holiday presents. A lover builds me a wedge of their precious pillows as we enjoy television on a projector wall from bed. We test-run slings and find the beauty once more that is my favorite mobility aid - my tempur-pedic sling.
I have a play partner who I have avoided playing with because we get... enthusiastic. My internalized ablism, the whispering voice of society in the back of my head that says what my body "should" be able to do, had me only want to play if I could "deliver" at my most athletic. Finally, I wrote him and asked about how hot it could be if we could play more often. How, he honestly and enthusiastically asked, because he had fears of hurting me. So we collaboratively dreamed up body position lists that support my spine and hips. We discuss bondage for sex to help hold my limbs in place (and be hot restraint). We tell porn and possibilities, and vow to play around, to play with possibility and fight the stories of "should" and replace them with the realities of actual delight.
If you want to continue to explore the intersection of chronic illness, disability, sex, kink, and queerness, I encourage you to explore the following free resources:
"How managing my chronic illness(es) made me fall back in love with being queer," by Ronika McClain
"Topping from a Wheelchair - It's An Entirely Different Experience," by FetishMissionary
The website, "broken toys: Submissives with Mental Illness"
The FetLife group, "Kink and Disability"
Passion and Soul Podcast Episode 52, "Kink, Sexuality and Disability with Wintersong Tashlin"
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In the past few weeks over on Patreon, I have had a chance to connect with my Patrons regularly through:
"Finding Your Unique Voice as an Educator," through the live class and recording
"Breaking Bones," a devotional offering to the Bull of Heaven
The handout from my class, "FTM CBT: Genital Torment for Transmasc Bodies"
"Invocations, Evocations, and Energetic Shapeshifting," through the live class and recording
Chapter 3 ("Preparing to Present") from my never-formally-published book Presenting Your Passions: Teaching Skills for Educators Who Give From the Heart
The Table of Contents from my forthcoming book Become Your Own Beloved, as well as portraits from my self wedding.
For March and April, come join me LIVE at:
Rope for Sex: Erotic Restraint for the Bedroom and Beyond
Online and In-Person in Philadelphia, PA
Wednesday, March 15th, 2023 | 5:30-7:30p EST; 3:30-5:30p MST; 2:30-4:30p PST
More info: https://passion101.ticketleap.com/ropeforsex/
Rope bondage is a wonderful tool for spicing up your sex life – from binding legs open for access to the loins to turning a bed into somewhere a lover can relax and give into their desires. We will learn how to make simple restraints for spread-eagle poses or binding lovers to chairs, as well as exploring ways to bind limb to limb, body to body, crotch ropes (and how to convert them into pieces that can be fucked through), and more. Let’s explore and think creatively about techniques for adding bondage to your style of sensuality and sex. Bring at least one 25-30 foot piece of rope, and a dildo if you have one, for rated R hands-on play.
The Twisted
Leprechaun
In-Person in Philadelphia, PA
March 17-19
More info: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-twisted-leprechaun-tickets-430191152317
Join us for a weekend of debauchery, delight, and edgy pervyness in PHILADELPHIA at TWISTED LEPRECHAUN! The event will run from March 17-19 and will include play parties, classes, open connecting time, and extreme delights. This event is limited in attendees to allow for intimacy and fun.
Only 75 attendees will be allowed, and tickets are sold out for the main weekend... but there is a waiting list! I will be teaching "Head and Hair Bondage" and "Determining Your Risk Profile." There are however SUNDAY-ONLY tickets still available and we would love to have you there.
Approaches to Oral Sex
Online Worldwide via Wicked Grounds
Thursday, March 23rd, 2023 | 6-8p PST; 7-9p MST; 9-11p EST
Buy tickets today: https://forbiddentickets.com/events/wicked-grounds/2023-03-23-online-approaches-to-oral-sex
Deemed illegal or immoral in some cultures while seen as commonplace or a cultural norm in others, oral to genital stimulation is a tool for erotic expression that there has many techniques to explore. Whether you see it as “third base” or “the most intimate type of passion,” let us explore the double (or triple) standards based on gender and genital configuration (from diverse cisgender male and female to trans bodies), and the medical realities present in this sort of play. Each of us has favorite skills and approaches too, so we will share descriptions of skills with each other (no live demonstration or nudity during the discussion), talk about diverse anatomy and interests, and dive into our passions (and turn-offs) concerning this sort of sexual activity.
Ritual of Sacred Individuality
Online Worldwide via Patreon
Saturday March 25th, 2023 | 11a-1p MST (10a-12p PST, 1-3p EST)
Join my Patreon Today: https://www.patreon.com/passionandsoul
We live in a culture that says that we as individuals are not enough. This culture posits that we need another half to be whole. On our own, we are somehow lacking. According to this logic, when we do find a partner or partners, it becomes easy to enmesh our identity with another, or forget that we are whole unto ourselves.
You are whole unto yourself.
In this guided visualization and ritual meditation, Lee will guide you on a journey of seeing the power of yourself in community, feeling the power of yourself in your connections with other people, and experiencing the glowing power present in your sacred individuality. This ritual does not intend to separate us from others, or glorify solitary existence, but instead remind you of your own vitality as you exist within the systems you choose in your life. You deserve excellence, and you already have it. There, you, within your own Sacred Self.
Hands-On Kink 101
LIVE IN-PERSON in Denver, CO at The Center on Colfax
Monday, April 3rd, 2023 | 6-7:30p MST
Register today: https://lgbtqcolorado.org/event/kink/2023-04-03/
This four-part Sex Ed. series will engage participants in discussions on making consent and negotiation accessible, exploring our diverse identities and desires, and laying the foundations for healthy kink and BDSM experiences and relationships. This class is part of The Center's SAGA Young Adult Program.
In the next class in the series, Hands-On Kink 101, we will develop communication systems to use during erotic antics, then learn about the body and how it can receive different sorts of sensations. Finally, you get to learn 3 different ways to use rope in your play, how to do spankings in ways that titillate rather than cause harm, and peek at the art of flogging, canes, and other impact toys. Participation is not required, but is available for those who want to practice. Clothing required. 18+ with all attendees carded at the door.
I also have other classes and events coming in the next few months! I will be teaching about dominance and submission, rope bondage, and more. You can see a few of my upcoming offerings below, and you can visit my Upcoming Appearances page to learn about the rest of my future offerings in March and beyond.
March 25, 2023 – Teaching “Determining Your Risk Profile” and attending play party – Denver TNG – Denver, CO
April 1-2, 2023 – Teaching “Simplest Toybag: Creative Uses for One Rope” and “Determining Your Risk Profile” – Left Side of the Slash Conference – Denver, CO
April 3, 2023 – Teaching “Approaches to Oral Sex” – Karada House – Online Worldwide
To check out all my further scheduled classes and intensives throughout the year (and more being added regularly), visit my Upcoming Appearances page to learn more. To enjoy further free material from me, consider joining me on Patreon where I share weekly resources, monthly classes, and more :)
Much love to you all and see you soon!
Yours in Passion and Soul,
Lee Harrington
http://www.PassionAndSoul.com
