Days when it is bad

On days where I feel like hurting myself, days like yesterday, I start with breathing. With taking a long walk. With going for a run.I go sit in the sun. I make amazing food and share it. I dance. I cry. I journal. I scream.I watch a dumb movie. I turn the music up loud. I post on the internet. I text someone who might give a damn. I hope for a better day.I pray. I fuck myself into a puddle. I tie my hands behind my back and hope it passes. I laugh at myself. I read a fantasy book that I can disolve into for a while. I cry.I go to sleep. I pace. I write angry poetry. I punch a pillow. I go out to a taco stand and order carne asada. I open up my heart to some new answer I haven't dreamed up yet.I have done things that do not serve me, but this list is about things that do serve me.  This is not drinking or fucking strangers or popping another pill.  This is not bashing heads into wall or cutting into my flesh or lying to the world.What do you all do? Because it's not a fantasy world- it is life. And we each deserve to live.