Move The Crowd Part 1 : Waking & Culture
On Thursday I had the pleasure of attending the mastermind event True+Paid+Good with the group Move The Crowd. Over course of 9 hours, our brains, hearts and spirit were challenged and inspired alike… and I was no exception. My mind, essence and being is still spinning, still absorbing, still taking it all in. My arms lift up, wrapping myself around it, feeling the sensations as it sinks in with pure light. Light lifts us up, light burns, light illuminates, light me afire.Let me say this – the time before the event was worth the price of entry. Two conversations blew me away, two moments of synchronicity. There is, in my world at least, no such thing as coincidence. These moments may have changed my professional life.The first was with Monika Moss, who I had no knowledge of during the conversation. She is a very well-known life coach, but we started our conversation with a hello, my awkward self stumbling through random hellos around the world. When I am at events where I am out of my contexts of strength, I am a bit of a wallflower. I try my best to dress well in advance, hoping I won’t be seen as a shlub. I put on my best smile-armor, hoping to not be rejected. I hold my chest up, and yet my shy fat-kid self bubbles up and I don’t know where to start. So I start with hello, my hand thrust out like a makeshift doll on the playground.She took my hand, and we began talking about what we each do. That she was there as conference staff and alumni. That I am a sex educator.Before I say anything else about what I do, she begins talking about how someone she knows is a middle school sex educator, and how hard it is in Ohio to be so, rural Ohio. That this friend gets shut down in a red state.My mouth opens, and unexpected information falls out from between my lips.I believe that there is a need for sexual information within a Christian framework, especially for evangelical and devout Christian framework. But it shouldn’t be framed as an adversarial conversation based on the idea that everyone should support abortion, birth control pills, and sex out of wedlock. I personally believe those things are profoundly important, but focusing up front on those issues loses us the conversation before it has even begun.Instead, I believe we should start the conversation on sexual education within a monogamous, marriage-supporting framework. With so many no-sex-after marriage couples stating that their sex life is awkward, uninformed, and even unsatisfying, how powerful would it be to help teens learn about what they are looking for once they choose to become sexually active – including within a sex-after-marriage framework?What if these young people could learn the questions to ask each other? Beyond that, what if they actually knew their own bodies, how to operate them, how to engage fully with them? What if young men and women alike knew about women’s and men’s orgasms and mutual pleasure models? What if they could learn of sex toys as fun additions to their monogamous intimacy without adding shame to the equation? What if body cycles and realities could be approached as showing the love of the divine, rather than a curse? What if G*d were brought into the conversation as part of the beauty of passion, that if the body is a temple, why should we not worship there? What if we could choose how to interact with it, and learn that sexual health (including STD awareness, reproductive choice, and more) can lead to societal health and developing a world that is open to showing us G*d’s love?The other conversation came with an opening handshake with my front-row neighbor Chase Steele Greye. Yup, I am that front-row kid. Between being hard-of hearing, and liking to be as close to the energy as possible, it just tends to be how I roll. Plus it encourages others to scoot up, rather than heading to the back of the room.He was holding a copy of Seth Godin’s book, “Linchpin: Are You Indespensible” I asked him what he was reading, this dog-eared, well-love text in his lap. A smile crept across his face before blossoming wide. It is a book that inspired him. Kicked his ass. That any time he felt lost, especially professionally, he flipped it open.I asked him to flip it open.In this simple act of bibliomancy, I was reminded of my fears around being enough. Of needing to be validated. That I shouldn’t do until I have proof that I can do. That fear that I am not enough. That I will be better if I pursue, and then start. Start later, my being says. Fear.
And this was all before the event began.Our speakers were amazing.JLove Calderon reminded us to release whatever it took to get here, and to be present here to have the day be about you. Be ready for connections, for breakthrough, for creative shifts.Donna D’Cruz, the muse of Deepak Chopra, led us in meditation. Her lips gifting the following statement:“It is said that when we pray we talk to the divine, and when we meditate, we listen.”Rha Goddess ((warning, sound plays)), the founder of Move The Crowd, reminded us of the pillars of this work:--- Stay True--- Get Paid--- Do GoodHow simple. And yet, profound. I flip back in my mind to a realization I had about tithing.In the act of tithing to the Church, we give 10% of what we have. The rich have money. The volunteer has time. The brick-layer has skills and materials. We give 10% of what we have to community, to spirit, to doing better for our tribe and world. If we make more money, we have more to give. If we have more time from working smarter, we have more to give. If we develop further skills and resources, we have more to give. When we improve our lives, we have more capacity to improve the world.So we took to our journals. We wrote what we are doing to get ready, to get real. Dreams are all well and good, but without doing the work, prayers don’t give you as much. The divine can’t enter into our lives with as much ease if we don’t make space for them, don’t do actions in alignment with our prayers.Terry Young of Sparks and Honey took the stage and blew our minds with the work they are doing there, moving at the speed of culture. He spoke of Fast Culture (in next few weeks) and Slow Culture (in the next few years) and how the ordinary becomes extraordinary becomes opportunities.The guys at Spark and Honey are amazing. The models they shared were amazing. And the question of what trends come up in both fast culture and slow culture affect my brand/field made my heart pause.I have angst over 50 Shades of Gray.I speak about its pros and cons, but I have been unwilling to capitalize on it.I need to get over my shit. I need to push my work in the mainstream in the window when the movie comes out. I can take this wave, if I am ready, and bring the excellence of my work into the homes and lives of those who really want to learn about the joy and bliss of erotic exploration and authenticity. The time is now, even if I don’t personally enjoy the modality in which the wave has appeared.This is the time for all of us to embrace our erotic authenticity, and give space for others to do the same. Not by saying how kick ass what we specifically as individuals do (though if you would be so kind as to say rope bondage rocks when my new bondage books go to Kickstarter and then hit bookstands, that would be fantastic). But instead by saying that every one of us deserves to live erotically authentic lives. Yes, you. Yes, that other person whose live you don’t understand… them too.We all do.And… that was all before lunch.