Huge for me... on core service
cant get the words you are aservice person in my world out of my head....it hurts because i really wantto be so much more...Rocked hard.Wow.I don't take service easily. I can let folks schlep bags for me, I can allow folks to open doors etc, but what I consider core service... is something I don't accept lightly.Core service, in my world, is feeding the core of my needs.It is not using you sexually, though that is delightful.It is not taking care of physical needs, like water or buying me food, which does make me happy.It is letting someone into my core, exposing everything there, and looking at how to feed what I actually *need* to thrive as a human.This work is not pretty, and this service is not something I grant the opportunity to lightly or expect to be easy. Core service to me, from a few very rare humans, has included:-yelling at me to get off my ass and get work done-paying my phone bill (I accept wants easily but not life needs)-listening to me cry and yell-hearing out my babbling insanities-walking away when I've gone too far, then coming back later-pointing out my flaws with grace-letting me argue so that I can come to realizations on my own... I tend to have them sink in harder then when I just accept an answer on a silver platter-being in easy silence with me-helping me find the pieces of a broken heartThis is not glamorous work. Hell, my slave of many years, Duncan, never really got an opportunity to do it for me, because the few times he saw me ugly, and I mean ugly, it broke him. I can not do that to a human. It takes strength. It takes power.Having someone truly be of core service to me takes strength, power, passion, pride. Funny, starts to sound like the Iron Pentacle. This takes balance with the Pearl: Love, Law, Knowledge, Liberty and Wisdom... hm, thats a different discussion for a different day I think.I enjoy service.I enjoy having my boots done, cock sucked, bags schlepped, deep conversations, cigars lit, back massaged, articles examined, email answered... having great eye candy and quality service overall that meets physical, sexual and intellectual needs. But core service is something I really deeply value, and something I find can be a challenging match. The number of folks I have had in my life who said they could give it but found it too hard is a bit staggering at times. Has made me feel like my needs are inappropriate, too hard, impossible to ask for. I need strong personalities to serve my core, because I am a strong personality, and how can you have the power to hold a mirror up, argue back, be strong and true to your core to help me find mine... if you are unable to be strong at your own core?So this comment rocked me hard.Thank you for helping me be challenged.