Funny email

So, I have a vanilla guy who is trying over email to convince me to fuck him. Our emails thus far:Him: You are fucking awesome. I want to get high and hump with you. I like Hank WIlliams, (Sr of course). I love my bike! here is a picture of me being cool. I like to party hard. You should too! Write back as soon as you canMe: I do not get high, nor am I interested in vanilla sexual encounters proposed to me by strangers via the Internet. A more appropriate way to win my attention might have been "Hi, I saw you at ____ and liked your style, care to get coffee some time?"- but you didn't, so sorry :)Him: Please?Me: Please! Ha ha ha :) That is very cute :)Tell me more about you, what the hell :) Maybe where in the world you are, why I should be interested, and some of your preferred kinky interests?Him: Portland Oregon. I would do anything to have you in my life. You are awesome.(I really think you are cool). I am a 32 year old ex professional athlete that loves oral sex and back rubs. I have a 143 IQ. I have never claimed to be smart. I think you are very cool and would love to make love to you with my face. We need to go out and be friends first though.You are fucking hot. I am massively strong, but you wrap me.Me: Anything? Will you buy me a giant latex monkey costume (with full facial prosthetics a la planet of the apes) and have sex with me when I wear it? A girl has to ask.--- we'll see what his response will be. Where do these people find me? And why does he have to be cute. The disturbing thing... one of the pics of him he sent has a woman with a black eye in the background smoking a cigarette... fully dressed