Cadence and Rhythm
I never really knew that she could dance like thisShe makes a man want to speak SpanishComo se llama (si), bonita (si), mi casa (si, Shakira Shakira), su casaI am listening to my heart a painful sensation as heatbeat quickens, pace changes, and I can feel my hips move to the possibilities inherit in my blood your blood our blood as it flows down onto the hope I have for myself. Ten years unpacked repacked in a dream and it won't fit in the boxes any more, I pull out old mix tapes and find my own finger print there under rubber cement and Pansy Division songs. Liz is appearing everywhere my mad malk my dream girl my fist stalker and I keep seeing her green everywhere i turn my green everywhere she turns turns out I am she is me. I am no longer my own rythem, my own cadence, my own beat of the drum longing to be beaten.I am listening to my heart and find myself lost in the sea of discordant melodies and the possibility for a strong pervasive tune. I need a tune up. For the first time in a decade things are making sense. For the first time since he left me in a heap, tears of green piled up everywhere, echos of abba in the 7th level of hell, I finally have a plan again. Does this somehow discredit my desires of this time up to then, make them less valuable, make them less of me. No oh gods no I hope not because I can not explain all I all we all he all they mean to me and all I want to do is scream but it doesn't fit the rhythem and cadence and instead I soft samba ahead, hope for a break between songs but nine songs on I'm still dancing still dancing.I am listening to my heart with my ipod glued to my ears. I am Shakira, PussyCat Dolls, Warren G, The Herd, Warrant, Sapna Awasthi, Gin Blossoms, Phoenyx, Barenaked Ladies, Cowboy Junkies, Green Day. I don't want woken up until September. I keep hearing the alchohol sing to me. I can feel my hips trying not to lie. I want the war to end, an anzak nightmare. I am fighting jealousy. I an astride a 6 hooved stygian beast... and then I hear her roar and I stop, listen to the unerlying current, the cadence and rythem, and understand.I am listening to my heart, and wish it were an easier concerto to follow.I am a thousand pieces playing together, unboxed, unsure where to go from here.