Beloved Psychopomp
Today, another person wrote me to say I had been in their dreams, again, last night. After telling me the details of her dream, she asked if she was infatuated by me/obsessed, or just star struck.I told her that I would argue neither.I, or more accurately the form I assume, gets used by my spiritual patron and owner, Bear, to get work done on the dream side. Mama Bear, my totem, owner and Goddess, She who owns my ass and changes the world, is a doorway opener, a clearer of ways, a healer, a questioner, an advocate for rest and an advocate for profound transformation when the resting is done. She is the spirit of survival, and of helping those who need to be pushed to survive, thrive, and do the work they were built for on this plane.She is the power of looking inward. She is the leadership we are forced to take, or destined to take, sometimes simply over ourselves. She is strength tempered with fury, love tempered with practicality. She challenges us to open up our eyes and look, one more berry, one more cave, one more dream.I am acutely aware that in the past 4.5 years since I formally dedicated myself to her, three rounds of love and passion, between pelts and hooks and ink and love- large chunks of my dream time are not my own any more. I sleep to do work. I was made even more aware of this when I contemplated suicide- being informed that it was a choice, but being without a body would just mean I only did other side of the veil work ;)I keep on appearing in dreams. Some of it is me, some of it is my form doing the work of my Patron, my Owner, my Totem/Goddess/Beast of the darkness and light of our hearts. Sometimes I get loaned out to do the work of other deities as well, the energetic loan out system of the spirit worker world.It is not about me most of the time. Me the physical fleshy me. I am not purposefully stalking anyone but one specific person who still keeps our bridge open. Everyone else, I'm on assignment or its Lee as psychopomp. Sometimes I stand in as avatar for compassionate lover, avatar for stern master, avatar for queer guru on the mountaintop. Sometimes I stand in as beloved brother, fearful foe, wicked agent of unnatural lust. I am a mirror for the work that needs done in this world.My Job continues to be to open doorways, clear paths, point out new routes and to offer insights that help the world find its dharma. My Job is to implement my Knowledge with Excellence. I continue my family line of being a packrat for the Gods, ferrying goods and wisdom from one heart and place to another. I support the world with my excellence and the world supports me.So if you see me on the other side of the veil, walking along the silver path or carrying a staff of ash or knotty willow, feel free to wave me down for a chat. Let me hand you a silver acorn to grow your dreams, a golden key to open your heart, a string of pearls of wisdom. But really, its not about me. I'm just doing my Job.