PS010 - Gratitude, Freedom and Tribe
This month, join me as I share my continuing journey and reflections on gratitude, freedom, and tribe. From those in need to my own challenges with vulnerability, from Ireland to Arizona, from art to adventure!
Passion And Soul Podcast:
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-passion-and-soul-podcast-by-lee-harrington/id840372122
RSS Feed: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/660e243b2f834f0017de9181
Erotic Awakening Network: http://www.eroticawakening.com/podcast/
Episode Notes:
Phoenix Goddess Temple, Tracy Elise – http://www.facebook.com/notes/kamala-devi/calling-all-temple-family-and-friends/10150316604812287
Rob Athey – http://www.indiegogo.com/Pleading-in-the-Blood-The-Art-of-Ron-Athey
Scarlet Alliance, Australia: http://www.scarletalliance.org.au/
Sex Workers Outreach Project (SWOP): http://www.swopusa.org/
American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) – http://aclu.org
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) – https://www.ncsfreedom.org/
Leather Heart Foundation – http://leatherheart.org/
Chicago Hellfire Club – http://hellfire13.org/
Twisted Leprechaun – http://twistedlepfest.com/
Lee’s Painting and Photography Prints – http://passionandsoul.deviantart.com/
Lee’s Upcoming Events/Appearances:
http://passionandsoul.com/appearances/
Lee Harrington Contact Information:
http://www.FetLife.com/passionandsoul
http://twitter.com/#!/PassionAndSoul
https://www.facebook.com/lee.harringon
https://www.facebook.com/passionandsoul
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Dan:
Bandwidth for Erotic Awakening is provided by McManus Studios Photography. For the very best in fetish, lifestyle, and relationship photography, visit McManus Studios Photography at www.mcmanusstudioswv.com.[music intro]
dawn:
Welcome to Erotic Awakening, an educational and entertaining exploration of all things erotic. From sacred sexuality to fetishes, power exchange relationships and leather life, BDSM to polyamory, as well as simply fun kink. Each week, we bring you a diverse offering of erotic life in its many forms. This podcast includes frank discussions of highly sexual topics. If you are offended by this type of content or prohibited by law, we recommend you stop listening right now.Lee:
Welcome, fellow adventurers of sexuality and spirit. And welcome to Erotic Awakening with Lee Harrington. In this monthly show, appearing on the third Monday of every month, I'm here on Erotic Awakening to, usually, talk about a very specific formal topic that's been announced in advance. That's what I did for the first eight months. But last month, I went off road, and instead of having a formal topic, I went with where my heart and my body needed to speak from, and the responses have been amazing. And so for people who want to listen to that podcast or any of the ones from the past, read my writings, anything like that, feel free to hop over to passionandsoul.com or for the podcasts only. You can go back to the archives here at Erotic Awakening.But this month, we're going to do it again. I'm going to go off road. I'm going to go out into the world of adventure and see what happens. I've got a handful of notes. I've got a whole lot of heart, and I'm really excited to see where this takes us. So to you, my listeners at home, at work, sitting on public transportation or out there in the world at large, buckle up, and we'll see where it takes us.
Well, I definitely want to start today with the notion of gratitude. For folks who haven't been following me online, I have been having some health challenges. For the past two months, I've been dealing with a flare-up of chronic long-term health concerns that I've had for most of my life. And it's meant that I've had to cancel 13 gigs between July and December. And about three weeks ago, I realized that when I did the math with my partner, my Boy, who you've heard on previous podcasts, we did the math and he doesn't start his new job until the end of October, beginning of November, and we realized we were going to be a little short. And by a little short, I mean an entire month's worth of rent and bills short.
And I realized that about three weeks ago, but I didn't have the capacity to ask for help. I looked at this thing, looked at bills and numbers, and what reflected back at me was a stack of drama, and trauma, and pain, and suffering, and stories around what it is to be self-sufficient in this world. Because I've grown up in North America. I've grown up a proud American whose parents were both in the Army, and I was given stacks of messages when I was younger. I recall distinctly, my parents saying that people on welfare are bad and wrong, and people who cheat the system should be sent to jail or worse. I remember being told that a real man is able to take care of his family. I was told that even as a young woman, that I was supposed to be able to fend for myself; that my great-grandmother taught my mother how to drive a car when she was 12 years old, so that even in the worst of times, she'd be able to escape.
I was told and trained at a young age to prepare for the zombie apocalypse, which was my parents' playful way of dealing with the Cold War, at the time. I remember going through drills on how to be able to cook food, what would I do when the end came. And my answer has historically been that I would go and raid a fabric shop, because I would be the seamstress or tailor of the apocalypse. At the end of the day, drugs and fabric are going to be two of the things we can't easily replace right away. And our clothing has been made in such shoddy and horrible ways, that our trousers now fall apart as I stare down at my brown denim trousers right now.
I stare down at them, and remember a time when a pair of jeans could last you ten years of active work on a farm, patched up and holed up, and we are not there anymore.
But I held on to this baggage. I had this baggage that met up with my pride, and gave birth to a child that was amazing, that was horrible and terrible, and led me spiraling into circles over and over again.
“If I ask for help, people will say no. If I ask for help, people will think that I am worthless. If I ask for help, I will know that I am powerless. If I ask for help, the gods won't help me. If I ask for help, I am broken.”
Because we're not supposed to need to ask for help. This statement of self-sufficiency, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. Pull yourself up, man, brush yourself off. What the hell is wrong with you? You can do it. You can do it.
But how many of us, how many of you are three paychecks away from being homeless? I started doing the math. What would it take if, in four months, Aiden wasn't working? What would it take if, in six months, he wasn't - and we'd exhausted our credit lines? What would it take for us to have to box everything up?
There was a website that got forwarded to me by my mother, of all people, talking about what to do if you find yourself suddenly homeless. This did not sit well in my belly.
What do you do? Because I've been that kid, to a degree. I've been that kid who couldn't go home. Not that I didn't have a home, but I couldn't go home, it was not a place to live.
And so I sat there with this pride in my belly, and two weeks ago, my friend Ruth, aka Raven's Bitch on FetLife, posted on my Facebook when I was talking about the fact that I had had to cancel work, and she said, “Hey people, there's ways you can actually help. Go over to Lee's house and walk their dog. Come over and cook food. Do his laundry, so that he doesn't have to get out of bed, or doesn't have to leave his office that day if he can't. Do something. Help in some way.”
And her act of kindness really struck me deeply. Her act of kindness shook me. It shook me incredibly deeply.
And so when I ran into her again at the Master/slave Conference in Washington, DC two weeks ago, I mentioned that to her, that it touched me really, really deeply. And she said, “Well, then ask for what you need.”
And I cried.
I sat there with my pride, and I sat there with my baggage, and I sat there with the notion of being needy, of being needful. I sat there with that notion of wrongness, and I started to brainstorm.
What did I actually need? What did I actually need to function for the next two months? What were the things that would help me be able to not stress into spirals, and would let me actually work on this thing called “cellular knitting,” that would allow me to focus on doctor's appointments, and projects that need to get taken care, of instead of stressing about whether or not I could fill my fridge?
And so I made a list. With my Boy's help, and my friends’ help, I made a list and I finally posted it. It took me three weeks from the realization. It took me three weeks of active struggling, and yelling and screaming, and processing and uncertainty.
But I posted it, and I asked for help. I put it on my website, and FetLife, and Facebook, and Twitter, and it was retweeted. And retweeted, and retweeted. And in under 24 hours, all the financial concerns and all the things that were needs, those capital-N Needs, not wants, not things that I was hoping for, not gifts, not presents, though there were a lot of those too.
But all my needs were taken care of, and I've been blown away. I am profoundly grateful. I am touched, and honored, and awestruck. Because my work has been shown that it keeps going out, and it comes back, that when we plant seeds on this planet, they grow. And there were enough people who me and my work mattered to, that in 24 hours it turned around. That I'm not stressing, and crying, and concerned, and I am currently sitting in my living room staring at a bowl heaped full of yams, and potatoes, and carrots, and spring onions. I'm looking at a second bowl of bananas, and oranges, and limes. I know there are two boxes of fresh blueberries in my fridge, and I am profoundly loved.
When I was having challenges and what not, I had people start telling me about resources. And I was aware of one of them, but not of all of them. I had somebody actually submit an application in my name to the Leather Heart Foundation, which is a BDSM kink and fetish organization that does fundraising for people who are in dire straits.
I was asked if it was legally related, and was told about the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, and their programs for people who are going through legal matters and need financial assistance, or free lawyers, and things like that.
I was also told by a gentleman who is involved with the Chicago Hellfire Club that there is a fund for Leathermen specifically, who are going through financial challenges, called the McAdory Fund. I'm going to post links to all three of those resources on my website, on the podcast information for this podcast. Because I think it's really important to know that these kinds of things are out there.
And I had people here in New York contact me and say, “Hey, we can come over and help walk your dog. We can get you a ride to a doctor's appointment. We can.”
I found that the Divine showers us with gifts when we're open to them. But there's a lot of times in my life where I've profoundly and loudly screamed, “No, I'm fine. Thanks. I'm good. There's someone else more needy than me, can you go help them? Because I don't want to be needy.”
I fight against it, and I've found that Divinity, the universe, whatever we want to call it, I think it listens to us when we say we don't need help. I think it listens to our pride. I think it listens to us because we are heard. And in being heard, I think that's incredibly, incredibly inspiring.
So what I did was I opened up, and I was vulnerable, and you know what? It hurt. I'm not going to lie and sugarcoat it and say, “Oh, just open up your heart and everything's going to be okay.” No, no, really, actually, it sucked. It sucked a whole, whole lot. Because I had to sit there with people who started giving me advice on the internet about, “Oh, just tell us about every single one of your health issues, and we'll help you, and we'll tell you what to do.”
No, really, dude, I've been dealing with this stuff since I was seven years old, some of it, and others of it for the last five years, and others of it for the last two years, and some of it for the last three months. And no, really, I've got ideas, I've got tools, I've got stuff. I just need time, and space, and the ability to actually manifest the stuff I need to do on this planet. But you know what?That's not what my courage said right away. That's not what my heart said right away. What my heart said was, “you must defend yourself or you're not worthy.”
God, that “you're not worthy” echoed so deep. “Not worthy, not worthy, not worthy.” Like I was some sort of liar, some sort of tale-teller.
I was having flashbacks to six months ago, when someone on the internet proclaimed loudly that I had no place being an educator and my entire history was falsified, because I had one broken link on my website.
Yeah. Yeah.
And my heart kept going back to that moment, and back to that story, and those perceptions. So I'm not going to say that reaching out for help is easy. Because you might have to defend yourself, and you might have to say exactly what's going on and you might also have to stand up, as my friend Squirtmaster General said, and say something along the lines of, “fuck them.” That was him. I'm a little bit more eco-hippie friendly and loving and cherishing while he is a born and raised New Yorker.
But I took his message to heart that -after a couple of weeks - that I don't have to defend myself to everyone. That it is not my job to prove my worth to people who don't get it. Because in under 24 hours, there were enough people who got it, that I was able to call it off and tell people to stop working, and able to tell the Leather Heart Foundation that, “no, really, I'm good. But thank you, and please keep up your work.”
And to you, listening, if you have extra funds, Leather Heart Foundation and NCSF, and the folks over at Chicago Health Fire Club, they've got 501(c)3 businesses and whatnot that will happily help the next person down the road. Because our tribe will have other people down the road.
And there are other people in need right now, beyond the BDSM community. In my inbox in the past week, I've gotten two other really profound calls for assistance and aid, that are very, very different, that I really want to pass on to everyone.
The first is artist Rob Athey, who...Rob Athey is...he's a profound artist, who has been doing public performance artwork about AIDS, and HIV, and body dysphoria, and gender dysphoria, and alienation, and gender, and sexual orientation - 30 years. And he has been asked for the first time to actually do a book of his work. Now, this might not sound like the same exact degree of issue as, “oh, my God, you know, you can't pay your rent at all this month.”
But remembering our history is actually profoundly important. Remembering where we came from and remembering the thousands upon thousands, upon millions, of people around the world who have died of AIDS, from all walks of life. To remember the plague - because it was a plague - of beautiful men and women who aren't with us anymore. To go back through the record books and tell the stories of Cynthia Slater. To tell the stories of Tony DeBlase. To go back and tell the stories of those who aren't with us anymore.
And in telling his story, Rob Athey, who's been around and who lived -he's one who lived. There are those who lived. And to go back and remember those stories, and those times, and those performance pieces, and remember the times in which they were painted. To put them in a context, not just photos of a man shoving needles through his face with a long blonde wig, caked, caked with his blood.
No, that's not enough. We have to remember why. Why was he even doing this piece in the first place? Why was this work important? Why is this work important?
We have to pull up books on the history of transgenderism and the history of magical working. We have to open up books like Magia Sexualis by Urban, and look back and remember why it was such a big deal for the Golden Dawn to be active in the Edwardian era.
We have to remember these periods and these times. And so for those who are interested, Rob Athey is currently trying to raise $15,000 towards the publication of the book, as the forward and the initial print costs for the book. And he's halfway there as of the time of recording. If we can raise another $8,000, he will be there. And the great thing is if you donate $100, you get a copy of the book for free, and a credit in the book. And that's really cool.
I love the projects that are out there right now, that are Kickstarter and Vimeo - the Vimeo stuff through Kickstarter and whatnot. Kickstarter is a really amazing thing for artists because we're able to get our voice out there and say, “hey, so I've got this idea. And if enough people believe in it, the idea happens.” And if it doesn't, none of the donors are charged a penny. Not a single penny. You're not charged until it comes to happen.
The other one that I got in my inbox was news of Tracy Elise and the Phoenix Goddess Temple. Now, for folks who don't know about this story, the Phoenix Goddess Temple, and its adjoining church space and temple space, down in Sedona, were raided about a week ago. They were raided and charged with acts of prostitution, collusion to prostitution, running a brothel, running a house of ill-repute, etc. And it was the biggest crackdown - “crackdown,” - on prostitution in the past 15 years in Arizona.
Now, the challenge, though, is they weren't a house of prostitution. The Phoenix Goddess Temple set up a sacred sexuality, tantra, and sexual devotional space for profound revelation in the acts of sensual touch and connection. Now, do I necessarily agree with some of their business practices, or some of their language on their website when it was up, that might have led to the belief that they were engaged in acts of prostitution No. No. I think it was naïve. Which is a saddening statement for me, that we have to have people who are naïve about these things, because it shouldn't be a matter if they're naïve. This was their faith. This was their belief.
And there have been tantra spaces in Hawaii, for example, that have been approved as 501(c)3s and 501(c)7s, I believe it is, that are religious spaces that also happen to practice sexual acts. There are pagan places that have active sexual Beltane gatherings that are also acknowledged churches by the US government.
But because Tracy Elise, the Mother Priestess of the space, believed that because she was speaking for the goddess and therefore did not want to align herself with a governmental patriarchy, she chose not to formally affiliate herself as a 501(c)3 or (c)7. And again, if I'm confusing the 501 things, please forgive me, I'm doing this from memory.
But the Phoenix Goddess Temple space chose not to do that. They chose not to go through those specific hoops, and they chose to act as a active business that happened to have a religious perspective. And they were a temple that served their population. And they've been arrested. Most of them have been released on bail, but they need money for their legal defense.
But they don't just need money - because this all sounds like it's a post about money, a podcast about money. It's not that. They also need people who will write to the folks at the ACLU in Arizona, who will write to various governmental agencies, and start speaking forward about the fact that sex is sacred. That sexual connection, that physical touch, that love is sacred. That the only sacredness out there is not one where we keep each other at arms' distances, and wrap ourselves head to toe in veils.
And though I believe that the reasons behind these things, the profound act of only showing your hair to your husband, because it is so intimate, of only showing your hair to your wife, because it is so intimate, those I find inspirational.
That I find inspirational. Of dressing a certain way, because it marks you for the world to see as being someone profoundly of faith. That I am deeply inspired by.
That's not what I'm speaking out against. I want the world to know that I believe that sex is sacred, and that there are individuals who are called to serve as sacred, sensual, sexual connections and conduits, between the divine and this planet. Who serve as shamans and spirit workers, who serve as sacred whores, who serve as Khandeshi priests and priestesses, who serve as tantrikas, who serve as surrogates, who serve as dominatrixes and pro-submissives. Who serve as artists, who serve in so many different ways, to inspire and inform and connect to us with a higher power, an inner power, a truth and authenticity. I know it's part of my job on this planet to help inspire on a whole bunch of different levels. And I have served, in my life, as someone who through sex, and connection, and touch, and domination and submission, to help people open up. I remember serving and having people come to me, not for cash in my case, but I did receive gifts on occasion. But because my UPG, my Unverified Personal Gnosis, spoke to me and said that this was the true and right thing to do.
That when I was doing a role-playing scene one night, at Dark Odyssey Summer Camp, where I was being a brothel worker, and people were paying little wooden coins for the chance to come and play with me, if they bartered with the brothel madam. It was hot, it was fun role playing, and I remember someone coming to me, and when he opened his mouth and started telling his story, that he really wanted a certain type of touch, that he broke down crying. Or started to. But he was that kind of strong and powerful man who wouldn't outright cry, but I could see the tears, and his shoulders shaking, and him holding it back, that dam holding, barely. And I pulled him aside and said, “No, no, not here.”
And he was like, “No, but I've got coins and I can do this and it's going to be okay, and please, just please, please, please.” And I said, “No. Tomorrow, tomorrow afternoon, I'll meet you at your cabin, and we'll connect, because this is not a five-minute thing. This is not a 20-minute trick.”
This is not something like that, though I deeply and profoundly respect people who are doing legal prostitution in Australia and Nevada and other places. And I believe in the Red Umbrella Society and their work right now to be able to get this stuff out, to be able to make prostitution legal. It's not about that. I remember going to him and working with him for hours and how it touched my heart.
[breathes deeply]
So it's important, whether we agree with the exact details of, you know, Mother Priestess Tracy Elise's business, that's not the point. Speaking up, and giving cash if we can, and setting a precedent that says that, “no, really, our devotional practices are worthy.” Our devotional practices are worthy of being defended by the US government, and that we are not criminals for loving how we love, and living how we live, and speaking how we speak, and praying how we pray.
We need to set a precedent, and we can't do that, hoeing, and humming, and praying, in the back of our little tiny closets, that no one will find us. “Please don't let us be seen.” And you know what, for a lot of us, it's reasonable to pray that we aren't seen, to pray that we can just pray in peace and serve our deities in peace. And, if outside of a sexual-spiritual context, simply a sexual context, to fuck how we want to fuck!
And if we are moved, after we fuck, to give a gift to those who have touched our lives and opened up our hearts, we should be allowed to do so. We should be allowed to do so.
And if people who have spent decades, who have spent decades perfecting their body and their arts to be able to give pleasure in such a way that opens us up to revelation, and pleasure, and authentic bliss - that moment where your eyes roll back, and you realize that in this here and now, no, really, heaven is on this plane.
And that magic exists. And that you have a reason to know that your sexual desires are not strange, are not unusual. If you are so moved to drop them a donation, or if they ask for their rightful, for their rightful donation, their rightful payment, for their hard-earned and trained time and skills, we need to speak up. Pray in private, but if you have the capacity, speak up. Hell, especially if you're in the closet. Saying at the office, around the cooler, “You know what? Did anybody read that thing? You know what, I don't necessarily agree with what they did, or I don't necessarily agree with this and that.” Say what your actual perspectives are. Say, though, what you do agree with. “I don't want the people barging down doors for people who are totally minding their own thing. I don't get it.”
Speak a truth, especially if you're not into this stuff, but you believe in freedom. Speak up about this stuff, because we need to speak up. And that's it. Show our gratitude. Show our love. Pass back to those who are helping us. Show that we care. Show that our planet deserves something more profound and beautiful than fearing whether or not we can practice our spiritual and sexual desires at all.
And if you're listening from countries or states or counties right now, from provinces where this stuff isn't legal, know that you're loved. And know that you're not alone.
I got to travel to Ireland in the last few weeks. I did two trips, before I've called it quits for traveling, for a while. I'm going to be staying home for a while. But yeah, I'm just home from Ireland, and I remember my partner, my Boy's face, when - as a nurse - he looked up the information about whether or not he would be able to practice medicine there, and found out that abortion is still illegal in Ireland. And he said, “well, what else is illegal here?” And I'm like, “well, we're going to be going to a play party that doesn't allow us to be naked at all, even with a completely private venue.” You have to keep your thong and pasties on or whatever it is because that's what's needed here. And we're not going to be able to do certain activities or certain behaviors because those are all illegal. And he just blanked, because he's so used to doing stuff that isn't framed that way.
But even amidst places of that sort of oppression and challenge, we got to have some amazing adventures, amazing sexual adventures, not just the tourist adventures of going to Giant's Causeway, or Newgrange, or out to the little tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny college - tiny! did I mention tiny? - that I went to in Glencolmcille, Donegal, Ireland, back in 1998. Because you got to see that, and a whole lot of sheep, too.
But we got to stay in Belfast with Ruta and Lady Lunar G, and got to sleep in their bedroom, or as they phrased it, their “bold room.” I loved that. That's such a fantastic description. Because I know people who have play spaces, and dojos, and sensual spaces, and temples, and retreats from the world, but the notion of a bold room where you do bold things, I thought was both playful and profound at the same time.
And in the bold room, we had some bold conversations - and some bold arguments - and some bold sex that blew us both away. And afterwards, we left Belfast and got to travel up to Giant’s Causeway, which is an amazing natural rock formation that looks like stacks of coins, all formed out of layers and layers of sediments - or fighting giants, depending on your perspective. And at the Giants Causeway, we got to do rope bondage in public, which was, again, bold! Bold, in Ireland, to do that sort of thing. And I posted a photo of it on my FetLife profile if anyone's interested, which is fetlife.com/passionandsoul. You can flip back and see some of the photos from our trip to Ireland.
And we got to visit with a lot of folks at a really amazing event called Twisted Leprechaun. Now, Twisted Leprechaun was Ireland's first-ever BDSM or bondage conference of any sort. And they had 180 attendees, which for Ireland is astounding! There were folks there in attendance from Israel, from the Netherlands, from Denmark, from Germany, from France, England, Scotland, Ireland, Northern Ireland, from the United States, and a whole giant contingent from Toronto, which was really cool because - if my world had gone perfect, I would have been in Toronto in a week. And so it was really good to see a couple of Torontoans out there.
And I was really touched by the event because even though I only got to go to about half of it, I did get to attend three really excellent classes and classes with people I'd never gotten to see before. And they were people who all really touched me and were really excellent educators.
The first was Peter Slemrian, who is from Denmark, and his girl, and they did a class on “Untie Me to the Moon.” That's what it was, “Untie Me to the Moon,” which was all on untying technique. But it wasn't really about technique. They did 10 minutes of discussion, 10-15 minutes of discussion, and then the two of them played. But “playing,” it was too light of a word. They connected. They danced. They fell in love. They were cavemen and cavewomen. They grunted, and held, and - touched everyone in the room a lot. And then they decompressed for 20 minutes with the room, and talked about what we each saw, and what were some of our different thoughts, and what could we all share with each other, and what would we like to do in our own scenes.
And I'm right now working on the...I'm working on a sequel to Shibari You Can Use, that instead of being on Japanese rope bondage and erotic macrame, it's going to be on bondage for intimacy, connection, and whatnot. So it will be some speed bondage, some other stuff. But also stuff about touch, and connection, and untying. And so to have him kind of energize me with that spark, I've got a really profound...I'm really touched by Peter for that reason. I talked to him about that afterwards.
The other person that I got to go to a class with was Bob from RopeMarks.com. And I have been talking to Bob, online, since I was fetish model Bridgett Harrington back in 2000 or 2001. And he was somebody that I looked up to, and was really amazed by, and I put him in the same caliber as James Mogul, who used to run NawaShibari.com and still runs Training of O. I put him in the same category as...gosh, has a lot of folks, actually, that are becoming a really... I don't want to drop too many names, because there's a lot of really amazing riggers out there nowadays. But he's been somebody who's been in here for the long haul.
And it was really kick-ass to actually hang out with Bob and his girl, Dutch Dame, and just flirt and socialize and trade ideas and get an open invite to come to Amsterdam. If anybody wants to fly me to Amsterdam, that would be fantastic. I haven't been back since 2000 or no, ‘99. I was last there December ‘99 in actual Amsterdam. I've been to Copenhagen since then, but not the Netherlands.
So, but yeah, it was really, really cool. And the third class was a class on Victorian kink, done by somebody whose FetLife profile is Cap_AKA_Miss_Chris, all one thing with underscores between them. And I met Cap at Whipmaster Bob and Boot Pig's Christmas party a little while ago. And adore - adore, adore, adore. Beautiful, funny, intelligent, great delivery, really sweet human being who I really respect.
I got to chill out with the folks at bindme.nl, get some new jute rope from them. So I have now two sets of jute. I'm not a convert yet, but I'm trying it out. Got a beautiful cane from Jack’s Floggers.
I got to struggle through some hiccups. But Ireland was really amazing.
I also got to do a trip to Arizona, which will be my last until next year, which is hard, because I moved from there and I've got a lot of friends. And it was also really hard in Arizona, because I had to cancel classes once I was already there. I did one class, and then I couldn't do the other two. And I was incredibly proud of a friend of mine, CA, and his partner, Cinder, who stepped in for me and did a class on Dark Role Playing for Kinky and Geeky Arizona. And they filled in some big shoes, and I'm not saying that in a prideful kind of way, but I know that Aiden and I teach a class - with both Aiden and myself - and I know that he and I do really amazing in that class. And I sent them this giant, like, six-page stack of notes and said “good luck!” And I walked them through some of the different things that I might have done, and they went in different directions.
And I'm also incredibly grateful for Master Dennis and the Dragon clan, who stepped in and took over my Rope for Sex class. Because, with, I mean, with four hours' notice - and did a really good job, from what I've heard. And Master Dennis is someone I respect profoundly, who's involved with Butchman's Academy, and Southwest Leather, and he and his partner, Ms. Bonnie, just blow me away. Just blow me away. And I'm keeping my fingers crossed, because they're gonna be grandparents soon, which is really amazing. Really amazing. My blessings out to you both. My blessings out to you both.
Even with stacks of doctor's appointments, and changing medical regimens, and canceling projects, I'm so grateful to everyone, to every single one of you. I'm... I was noting to another shaman that I know, that I realized this week that there is a profound difference between being the madwoman on the edge of the village, who no one ever sees, and people only come out to in times of fear, to have their bones read. There is a difference between being a madwoman at the edge of the village, and being the wise woman who is welcomed in, and who, when they are hungry, holds out their bowl, and their bowl is filled. And for a long time, I have worried that I am the person who is on the edge of the village, because for a long time I was. Because my cave was a safe place, to not have to connect or be vulnerable. And this month, I don't know if I'm part of the center of the clan yet, but I know that my bowl is full and will be filled. And for that, I am grateful.
And for that, I am going out on a ledge, and saying that if people want to be patrons, or matrons, or sponsors, or supporters, I'm going to put a thing up on my website that will let people be able to make a thing every month, if they want to.
I've always had a donation button, but usually it's somebody buying me something off my Amazon wishlist once every four months, somebody giving me 20 bucks when they remember, and I'm going to face my fears and say live: that if you're still listening, and you're moved to, feel free to be a regular supporter. No pressure. No needs. I mean, I have needs, and I will speak up for them and I will say them loudly, and I will even learn what they might be.
And if you aren't moved here, consider pledging every year to give to the ACLU, or to the NCSF, or to the Sex Workers Outreach Project, or to the Desiree Alliance, working on sex workers' rights here in the US and internationally.
Or maybe you're going to be moved to give to people like Rob Athey, and help us remember our past. Maybe you'll feel moved to give something to the Goddess Temple's financial situation, with their legal proceedings.
Or maybe you'll actually leave your house, and go and say hello to your neighbor, and bring them something to eat, and turn into neighbors again, instead of being people who live in bricks next to each other and only meet the people, maybe, at their office who they meet in passing.
Or maybe at the dungeon, you'll actually turn to someone. Or at the swingers club, turn to someone and say hi. You look like a really interesting person and we've been having some really cool conversations. I'd like to know you as a more full human being, if you're game. And maybe they won't be game, but maybe they will, and we'll actually turn our community into that word unity, stuck there at the end, a communal unity.
Build community. Build tribe. Build love. Build seeing, and let yourself see others, but also be seen.
And with that, I bid you farewell. If you have any questions around sexuality, spirituality, kink, gender, connection, identity, authenticity, tribe, or anything else that I can help with, I don't know how many spoons I have this month, but if I don't have them, I'll try my best to pass it on to someone who can help.
So send your questions or comments to Lee, L-E-E, at passionandsoul.com with the subject line “Ask Lee.”
Or you can find me anywhere on the internet - looking for Lee Harrington, or PassionAndSoul as one word, on FetLife, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and more.
In fact, over on deviantart.com at someone's request in the past couple of days, I decided to upload a lot of my paintings. If you want postcards of my paintings or some of my old photography, they're now up over on deviantart.com.
And thank you again, my tribe, my fellow adventurers of sexuality and spirit. Thank you so much for joining me. This has been Erotic Awakening with Lee Harrington. Until next time, stay cool, have fun, be authentically you. And if you're moved to do something that you wouldn't - that I wouldn't do, that's cool too.
Be you. Be you in love. Not in love with any one person. In a state of love. You deserve it. We all do. Have a fantastic journey.
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