Humor- Pineapple Gland Restoration

So, I tried to spell check, and that was dumb. My machine tried to turn a Pineal Gland into a Pineapple Gland.I thus give you for my amusement....Pineapple Gland RestorationIn our day to day life, we can find ourselves over-exposing our pineapple glands. Near-colada experiences and over-exposure to teriyaki can leave us drained of our vital essences, and leave us, upon arriving at con-parties, unable to provide our own mixers.Thus, consider the wide and varied tools to help restore your pineapple gland:- Submersion in those that rely upon pineapple juice. This includes engaging in deep Crown of Roses working, engaging your own Tahitian Pearl, or of course having Sex on the Beach.- Take a vacation to Hawai'i, Brazil, Paraguay, or various parts of SouthEast Asia.- Meditate on the knowledge that the fruit of a pineapple are arranged in two interlocking helices, eight in one direction, thirteen in the other; each being a Fibonacci number.- As a human made of meat, your pineapple gland provides a tenderizer for your spirit. Engage in your open, black heart of tenderizedness.- Go on the Dole.- Fresh pineapple is difficult to ship, and so it is for your pineapple gland. Stay at home, stay warm, and keep from getting a chill.- Make a tart of yourself.- Find ways to be raw.By restoring our pineapple glands, we can come to be truly balanced, and C ourselves for our full potential.