You don't need my permission... but thank you

This last weekend was Dark Odyssey: Winter Fire in Washington, DC.  It was an intense, amazing, beautiful and sometimes challenging weekend for me.  I conducted the opening and closing rituals (including conducting a handfasting for a couple who are part of our tribe), taught three classes (including debuting "Beings of Faith and Desire", which I hope to have time to blog about, and "Objectification for Animists" which got my nerd brain totally hot), assisted with Michelle Belanger's Rite of Transformation, connected with crushes, and more.  This weekend also was a step for me in the Dark Odyssey family, as I was announced as the Creative Director for DO's new event- Fusion, which will launch June 22-27th this year.It was also my Boy's birthday.  Thus, on Friday night, I decided to plan some sneaky ninja-like festivities.  I decided that it was time that the Boy be gifted leather as part of his path- so his friends chipped in to make it happen... over 30 people helped out in some way to directly make Friday night's plans of custom gifted leather, adventures of love, a gang bang, and tiramisu all take place.  Because really, what is a birthday gangbang without tiramisu?  Onstage at Graydancer's Cabaret and NCSF Fundraiser that night, as part of Aiden's Sweet Sixteen x2 (they turned 32), Aiden and I began the evening by performing to S.J. Tucker's "To My Valentine", a song that she has stated in her lyric notes is dedicated to all of her loves... as she too is polyamorous.  She too has many loves... and I have seen, oh have I seen the beauty of love within Sooj's tribe of the heart, one I am grateful to be part of.We performed on stage, and offstage, and as I wrapped lines of rope around Aiden's form, I wove our love out into the room.  Aiden was concerned that unlike other songs we have performed to, the music was not dramatic.  We were not suspending them to Linkin Park, or Firebird's Child... this was all floorwork, and all romance.  No suffering, just beauty, longing, desire.  But it was palpable.  It was love... for all our loves.As soon as the show was done, Graydancer called Aiden back on stage.  Their leather brother, Finn, and I came up, and before a packed room we explained that their friends had agreed that they needed to be gifted leather, to mark their journey as a Boy and to show how loved they are.  Aslan Leather crafted the piece to their body specifically.  I wanted to do it onstage, because just as I gifted a friend with his Daddy hanky at a play party 2 months ago after he collared his girl... I think it is important that these things not always be done behind closed doors.  Gifting items that mark our journeys can inspire others, new to the path, to strive forward... and formal ceremonies have inspired me as someone 15+ years into my public kink and leather path.  It reminds me why I do it all- reminds me of the magic and the glamour and more when I see it done.So we stripped them topless, buckled them into their new harness, and Finn and I then abducted them off to the 16th floor for debauchery.But this is where my revelations began.Aiden and I are in a non-egalitarian relationship.  Our primary dynamic is that of Dragon/Treasure.  In public, we use Sir/Boy because it suits us, it is understandable to most of the kink world (and thus we don't have to keep answering "what the hell is a Dragon/Treasure relationship?") and because it gets my dick hard.  We began our connection over 3 years ago, but when they petitioned me back then to be mine, it was not feasible.  I owned Hunter at the time (who I released formally from his contract over a year ago, but whom I still love and adore), and was dating Amy.  I did not have the energy for that relationship, but did have energy for magical random encounters.  So that is what we had.  A week in New York here, a weekend in Maryland there, a random play date at random events.  It was what it needed to be.In August, driving home from Delving Into Power- Maryland, we began talking again.  I discussed what I was looking for, and they shared truths from their heart.  Within a week we had begun designing our formal Covenant, and entered into our dynamic with eyes wide open.This may seem sudden, going from discussion to covenant in under a week... but we had 3 years of exploring one another in advance, scoping out each others truths, and we each also came with a rich history of power exchange, kink and relationship exploration behind/around us.  I had learned lessons from the D/s dynamics I had been in before, but I also came with pain.  Because of Aiden's ADD and my propensity for getting caught up in the Work I do for the world and my own Owner, the deity Bear, I decided that we will re-work/examine our Covenant no less often than every 90 days.  More often if desired.  We save each copy.  And looking at the first one, I had a lot of pain.For example, one of our lines in our first covenant required that they contact me at least 3 times a week, and that there would be harsh repercussions if there was not at least that level of communication.  Today, that line seems absurd.  They text me, with our evolving protocols, every morning when they wake, and every night when they sleep.  We talk by phone a few times a week, and see each other as schedules allow- sometimes twice a month, sometimes 2 months may pass.  But I had written that line because in past D/s dynamics, I was the one who had to chase after my partners.  I had to practically beg to get them to call me.  I would not hear from one specific partner for weeks at a time, and literally not know if they were alive or not.  And I had scars from it.  Scars that affected me as I entered this dynamic.Now on our third incarnation (set to be refined again in 2 weeks time when they visit me in Pittsburgh, when I teach there), our Covenant is settling into its shape.  At the end of April, we will be formalizing it before a handful of friends and the Gods we serve.  Because they are mine.  Part of being mine means that they get to deal with being mine... and I am not the easiest human on the planet.  I walk from time to time in the land of crazy, I have an intense schedule, juggle multiple relationships, have a complex family life, and am a Slave to deity.  It's an adventure to be mine.  And to have them as mine is not the easiest path either.  I am taking on their insecurities, their passions, their mental structure, and their financial wackiness.  But it is an evolving thing, built on honor, desire, connection, and possession.Its this last one that had me challenged this weekend.Possession.Aiden is mine.  But I think this means something VERY different to me than it means to many other D/s pairings I have met.For many, a possession is a thing to be kept locked away.  Collars with locks infer this message, that the person is a valuable thing, kept behind lock and key.  It is a powerful symbol.  But I do not lock away Aiden.  They may wear a collar as a puppy (I am a proud PuppyDaddy to their inner Boxer, Zeke), but they are not collared (BTW, Aiden's preferred pronoun is they, rather than he or she, though he is acceptable)... but they are not collared.  Which in some ways is a shame as collars get both of us turned on.  But I will not lock them away, or put a barrier between them and the world.Collars purposefully erect walls.  That is part of what is hot about them.  When someone is collared, there is a piece of information shared that asks that we check if its okay to touch someone else's stuff.Aiden is not collared.Aiden is a rich gift that I share with the world.  They are an investment I have made, that by having them go out and be an active part of reality, they bring me back a return on my investment.This weekend, at the birthday gangbang, folks kept asking me if it was okay to touch.  Dude, you've had sex with them before... nothing has changed just because I am there.  You were invited, the invite said please touch and caress and fuck and hurt them.  You don't need to ask my permission.This weekend, everyone kept asking if they could hug my Boy.  Dude, you've hugged them a hundred times before... nothing has changed just because I am there.As someone who has been part of Leather and Master/slave culture for quite some time, I appreciate the tradition of asking a slave's Master for permission to interact.  I cherish the respect shown through it.Aiden is not my slave, and that's not how we work.I have an Aiden to go out and do shit in the world, to have fun in the world, and to bring me back joy and resources from their adventures.  If I have to clear every single encounter they had, I would not have nearly the return on my investment.I am incredibly tempted to have a teeshirt made for Aiden that says:

Aiden has permission.-Lee Harrington

Seriously, the sentiment is amazing... but its just not how we roll.  They are my Treasure... a treasure I share with the world.  Just like my voice, my wisdom, and my Work... hell, just like much of me- the bulk is accessible.  We are beings in society and tribe, not away from it.  This is not to say that either my Boy or I are accessible in all ways.  I have the right to my privacy, my secrets, my personal details- when of course my Patron allows them.  And yeah- that.  Part of being mine involves being in the chain of command from the Gods on through.  Being mine- its an adventure.So you don't need my permission... but thank you.