When you are a masochistic Top/Dominant

Rose was trained fairly formally as a Top almost a decade ago, similar story in pieces to me and my first Top, Toby. He started from the bottom on up as well. Part of his agreement was that he would bottom once a year to a Top or Dominant he respects, and I was blessed to be that man this year. With his permission, I share some hot life porn, and thoughts about masochistic Tops.The day before he had bottomed to me, having told me he wanted to. During the class, we went into the smoking area, I blindfolded him, took off my belt and wrapped it around his upper arms heingd his back, then bucked his sam brown shoulder belt back into place over it all to hold the belt and his arms in place. He looked really fucking hot under my daddy hanky, his mouth hungry for my kisses, and my fists flew. I left his pecs tender and bruised, first time in ages. He moved stiffly. But the next night, he turned to me and asked for more. Please Sir? How can I say no to a strong as an ox rockabilly Top? I admit I have a minor fetish for flipping Tops, but I usually only do it in private, where no one else knows. I respect that need to save face. Maintain dominance. But he wanted to be tied up in public- it was a bondage party after all, right?I took him into the main social space, and grabbed my bag. Finding a large chair near the walkway between the play spaces, I sat him down and started weaving an intricate head cage around his face, framing his chops, mustache, big beautiful eyes staring up at me. Then out came a silky rope that I wove into a collar, and let our breathing slow together. He nodded, and I spoke of how even if only for 5 minutes, I was honored for the gift of him that he offered. Yours, he started to say, or did say, but I would not let him swear anything in heat- I want sober devotions if they are to be true.Collar tied on, I brought up both his hands and crossed them over his heart. Big guys are always a fun challenge to restrain, so instead I took leverage- I had him sit on a stool in front of me and massaged his face while we looked at each other in a mirror as I stood behind him. With alacrity I got my cock hard, and when I turned him around and got him down on the floor on his ass, started pumping away into his bound face. He moaned and opened up wider, until as he relaxed he moaned through taking 6 wide inches down his throat before he gagged and we repeated. Building up I fucked his mouth harder, not caring if he coughed, his strong form beneath me as I used him harder and harder.But I was sick of sharing him with everyone. The reality was, as a Top, I like being fucked. I like being hurt. I am a masochist, and often, a sexual bottom. This does not make me less of a Top or Dominant in any way. I tucked my cock away, lifted him up, and handed him my bag (arms still bound) and moved him to the back room. The original idea had been to throw me in a sling, but I was liking his round lips too much, far too much. How could I not keep using them... plus I was inspired by the previous mirror.This space too had a mirror- a tall one. I unbound his wrists, and still collared, began to kiss him hard. I brought his mouth down to my neck and ordered him to bite. Harder Boy. Harder!I spun myself around and locked eyes with him in this 7ft mirror I was pressed against. He stood behind me, taller, bigger, but mine. Mine. If for 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 lifetimes. Who could know in that moment between breaths. Locked eyes, grabbed his lead, and pulled him down to my neck. Pulled him in and let my pulse fuck his face as my cock had done before. Wide bites, hard bites, until his tongue could slide along my spine through the muscles of my long neck.Up, down, over, other side, I ordered him again, occasionally spinning around to lick his lips, lock eyes, spin back and order him again. Each time he tried to do more than I wanted, I would pull him off of me, hands to cock reminding him of this gift he was giving me, not the other way around. Mine. Good Boy.When I finally almost blacked out from the sensation, I spun around and pulled him in to kiss me once more. I grabbed his collar, the silken ropes, and puled him in. Undid the knot. Slowly unwove it before him. Half way undone he grabbed the collar- no, please Sir. Half undone, I stopped the final twists from being undone. I bundled it up as is. His rope, carried with me, neither my Boy nor released. A space between.I came out covered in hickies, roses around my neck and Rose carrying my bag. Some quizzical looks. More than some. Who was the Top? The bottom? The reality was that I was indulging myself as a masochistic Dominant. Is that so strange? Yes, Rose and I switch, but once we flow into a dynamic in play, we usually stay. Hypno play I bottom. Rope he does. Or so it has been so far. So be it. Sex, moans, passion- who cares when it fits. But it can be a bother when our experience is reflected in the eyes of binary players. Binary lovers.I step outside the binary, dance, and relish the memory of a roses at my feet.