Whistle Stop Tour: St. Louis and Albuquerque

I love Saint Louis. Okay, maybe it’s the people I love. I don’t know. I have very strong recollections of St. Louis based on my adventures with Ming from my first time going there, getting to officiate one of Cat and Dmitri’s weddings there at the City Museum, and of course the folks I adore at Sex Positive St. Louis, STL3 and Shameless Grounds.  I have a member-for-life membership for Charenton Social Club there, which sadly has folded, but I still have happy memories.The tour had to stop in STL. It was an imperative, to me at least. We were able to have two appearances and a group meal thing over the course of under 24 hours, with two different groups organizing. In advance it was a challenge to organize, but once there, it was really good.The salad that David Wraith got at the Mexican restaurant, our first stop after a hop over to his place to shower, was insane. It was the day after Dia De Los Muertos, and the restaurant staff was painted in face still. So beautiful, but yeah, the complete head of lettuce with cheese and shrimp on top was crazy. Tasty food, good company – then off to the ball!I’m not sure what I expected, but what was there was a lot of fun, but not what I expected. Upstairs at a VFW (or some similar) hall, the walls were decorated with simple Halloween décor, the room set with large round tables with chairs at them, and we were put at the center table with our books. Halloween costumes and masks. JSin from STL3 introduced us, and I talked about our mission, our purpose for writing the books, and why community matters. In turn, Mo told a scary sexy story from her past about fearing the inner murderer of a lover.  I really appreciated JSin and his fantastic folks putting it together. What a delight.The rest of the party itself involved a cross-dressing DJ spinning music while folks danced, some karaoke, a costume contest, raffle, and lots of conversations all over the place. I even joined in on the dance floor, my demon horns trying to fall off as I sweated. Things I did not expect to see – aforementioned latex-clad DJ singing R-Kelly music. But the rendition between them and another attendee performing Barbie Girl left a smile on my face.The next morning, after I’d finished all of our laundry, took us to the fantastic  Shameless Grounds. Sex+STL had organized us to do our Kink Community Primer class there, and the coffee shop was packed. Shameless Grounds is actually far more than a coffee shop. It has amazing full meals, a lending library, consignment kink shop (where you can get signed books from me and signed dvds from Mo right now), free wi-fi access, and beautiful art on the walls. I love this place, seriously. After class, Mo and I had to buy matching hoodies from them.  Between the hoodies, and now the necklaces we were gifted by Noor (the proprietess at Love of Ganesh), we look kind of like cult members who dress alike (photo by David Wraith).Class was so touching. Stories shared, hearts opened, new folks and experienced having aha moments and laughter together.  Truly, I love Shameless Grounds, David Wraith, Kendra Holiday and the rest of the Sex+STL crew.After picking up snacks for the train, we were off for our longest travel leg. 24 hours of travel. Off first we took the train to Kansas City, MO, were we wandered the station and fell in love with the architecture. Both Mollena and I said that we would love to go back some day, see it during the daytime. Then, the long train. So long. We had good snacks though, and we creatively figured out sleeping arrangements, with Mo on the ground and me up in the chairs above – so now I can officially say that she has slept at my feet ;) This is of course funny knowing that we have never played.The scenery spun by, greens turning tan, tress to brush. I breathe in the transition, and watch it flow past.At the other end, the kick ass Julian Wolf nabbed us at the train station, and we grabbed shwarma and lamb burgers, heading off to Self Serve. If you live in New Mexico, check out this great space in Albuquerque- Madie and her team have designed an amazing space that reminds me of Smitten Kitten in Minneapolis and Sugar in Baltimore. The movement in general for women’s owned sex-positive sex shops with a feminist message makes me very happy. High quality toys in a range of prices, variety of voices presented in the books on shelves – very sexy.And the community was so hungry for information on how to traverse their desires! Negotiation, kink 101, and kink community exploration all rolled together in one class, and I was delighted as well that a handful of folks from other parts of my life had appeared as well. My Los Angeles ex-boyfriend, Mars, now lives in Albuquerque with his fiancée, and it was great to meet her, flirt with him, and connect. In general, the message of much of this trip has been connection. Drive by connections in many cases… but still, the faces of friends. Like some sort of kinky life flashback.I have lived a rich and fulfilling life, amidst all the challenges. Sometimes, I need to pause and remember that.I pause, and remember that.