So I can't even begin...

To describe the last few days. i will make an effort, but yeah, a lot of me has just given up. Move forward, live fully, love fully, and put on a kick ass show, right?So, I bought a new iPod tonight. iPod video 30g. the iPod Photo is gone, off into the ether. The computer is still updating this one... I want it to be done by morning so I can still get my recording to Scout before he goes on as a puppy at Kinky Carnival. I also got a new roller bag, neon turquise... they had one that I really wanted in black leather, and I could have had it- but it is too small for my needs so I happily got the clown bag. For those who I've talked to about the emotional issues around this... I am good.Tonight I got to watch live porn, assist, and in general be a filthy perv. This is good. Femmes are dangerous lures who pull boys in, eat them up and spit them out, even if they say they are bottoming or submissive of whatever. It is a lure to get our cocks, I am convinced. As someone who plays a femme on TV, and enjoys being a mommy or girl from time to time, I know this to be true. As a side note, Ali Baba falafal makes me smile.On Tuesday I went off to meet up with Cub to go snorkling. I was running late due to train drama, but got there before Cub's head exploded."Hey B, mind that I brought a friend with me""No Cub, whoever is good, if they're a friend of yours"We walk up the stairs and there is Preston, the boy I beat up on Saturday and I wanted to slap Cub for the little smirk on his face. Yeah yeah, you rock Cub, whatever. Snorkling was off, too cold of water for the bears (I would have gone, but I'm from the NW where we polar bears, woosy aussie bear boys). So instead Cub did a superb job pointing out the Sydney stock exchange and in general being a good tour guide, and the 3 of us hopped on a ferry to Manly Bay.Manly Ferry, I was so happy. Only in Oz.The ferry ride was stunning, and getting to know the boys better was great. Talk of fishing, australian history, music, scuba, travels, life... all good stuff. By the time we got to Manly it was warm enough to swim.This is where we went swimming in Manly BayThis moment almost made me cry, thinking of promises to meet certain conductors here in years to come that will never come to pass.Cub and Preston having a serious moment, most likely involving a discussion of fish.Luna Park. I will go next week. It has been decreed by the royal Yes.This is where the Prime Minister lives.Manly Wharf Men being Manly MenFolks have asked for reports of how bad the poison oak I got into at Xara was. Well, here ya go, a week and a half after I got hit by it. Gods I hate poison oak.Preston makes a phone call while Cub is still swimming, before the meat.Cub and I swam, swam with the fishies! Fishie fishies. Manly Fish. Afterwards Cub took us to a place called "Ribs and Rumps" that I swore had to have been a joke, but lo and behold, here is some meat. Forgive me, not just meat. A fucking MEATGASM. More meat than my head. Heaps of meat. Bears (and me, the would be bear in boy clothing) eating huge heaps of meat, beer, milkshakes, more meat, and a side of salad that had us all laughing as we ate meat the size of our heads. Manly Meat. Meattasktic. I had the Ribs & Ribs platter. More ribs than one animal owns I think. Ribtastic. And lo did the bears bond.It has been determined, by the bears, that when I become rich and famous I shall open a "Wild Queer Bear Refuge" at the foot of some mountain where I will bring in Daddy Bears to tend to the wild boy bears, and let them all forage for nuts and berries or something. With lube.So, at this point, Ms_Victoria calls and is freaking out a bit, because flyers have not been distributed for my classes. In fact, flyers were never made. The classes have been well-advertised online and sign-ups are good, but this is not acceptable and her high femmeness has decided that we obviously should be in the city and what do we mean we are in Manly? So, we finish our meat and head back to the city, head to Cubs and make handouts. Cub and Preston go out for drinks, Victoria and I meet Mark and Aleni for dinner (Teppanyaki), at which point one of the funnier moments in miscommunication occurs.me, to all 3- "So we'll go after dinner to meet up with Preston and get copies done."Victoria- "Oh yes."Mark- "Any other plans"me= "Well, I already talked to Victoria about me bringing Preston back tonight- that ok with you Mark?"Vic- "You did?"Me- "Um, yes, in the car, that whole 'Hey Victoria, it's alright if I drag him back with me' conversation?"Vic- "Huh?"Me- "The one you said 'Oh yes' to?"Vic- "Oh, um... can I have another shrimp head please?"I so wanted to fall out of my chair laughing. I think she must have been channeling her new persona, Ms_JO.Met up with the boys, got copies made, hugged Cub (the proud owner of a new copy of World of Warcraft) goodnight, and the three of us headed home.Short notes on that-I'm glad I wasn't arrested for the private show.Knives are my friend.Facial punching, hot.I have a few enablers in my life...and most importantly..."Somewhere between Wow and Ow."Wednesday was flyer distribution with Preston, great conversations, hitting tons of pervy shops, getting a Domme client to take me out shopping for a huge stack of pantyhose and trying on $800AU sunglasses (I covet Prada snake glasses), dirty tease moments in the Bondi Junction shopping center showing off said pantyhose to hoseboy, dinner with DaddyPreston and his girl. Then off to the Leather Dyke meet and greet, cigar in one hand, drink in another, shmoozing, flirting, and in general having a cool casual time. Nick the Butch was super hot and sweet, and gave me a ride on the back of his bike over to Sly Fox.Sly Fox was fun. i did 2 numbers at their show. Not the right venue for trashy indian burlesque and toplessness. Perfect venue for drag king lap dances and Prince. Yup. If I do next week, now I know. J was a sweetheart for letting me borrow the sari though. I was steamy in set 2. Woof. Scout would go over really well in a show at Sly Fox. The kings and queens that night were all sweet, and I felt like an outsider at an Aussie Ember's- stage managers prepping everyone, inside jokes that everyone got but me, etc... but it was lovely and good fun. I even dragged Aleni on stage for the lap dance section of that number. Gods I wanna do that number at Embers, or something Portland local.Aleni and I have had 2 good car rides worth of chatting, i adore that woman.Back at Dv8 I was up online with Scout catching up and spilling my soul for a few hours. thank gods Victoria let me sleep in.This afternoon SilverGirl, Aleni, Jackie (of Hellfire) and I hit the Ginsing Baths in Sydney, relaxed naked, and I scrubbed half of my sunburn off of myself after hitting the sauna. I *will* own a sauna when I grow up.So yeah, Sydney is treating me really well. I did *not* but the giant pink boxing gloves, and I just found out that the black bag gloves are sold out which means no black goves with stars on them, a fact which I am horribly pouty about.But yes, I've been having good times, revealing stage strip dreams, great food, fabulous company... and in general finding my feet again.