Sex Magic and Moleskins
Moleskins. Little black books. They are my history, my books of shadows, the storyline of what I have learned and the map to get there.Back in 2006, I got my first Moleskin for the purpose of taking notes when heading to Berlin, and it quickly transformed into how I did so, period. I’ve developed a system of double brackets, tracking stops in sections, names and dates, class titles. When I sit down to write and try to remember who I got a concept from, I flip back through the tomes and make sure to cite the work properly. Since our sexuality tribes are still based on oral tradition, I can’t say the isbn of the book it came from.Oh, sure, there are more and more books on the topics of sex, kink, sex magic. Some are well done, some are lacking, and sadly some are misleading or even unsafe. But we are tribes of shadow and mystery, of secrets revealed story to story and skin to skin. Our worlds hold inner sanctums of wisdom passed down along lineages. I learned my rope corset ideas from Midori, who learned hers from Lou Duff. We hold them in our hearts, even if we do not hold them on our tongues.
I did not have a Moleskin while traveling for a while, so I took notes wherever I had paper. Now, I’m trying to transcribe them over. Sex magic, intermediate/advanced floorwork, all 3 panels worth of spiritual bdsm. I get thinking about practices, about cumming.The sex magic class that I transcribed was taught by Raven Kaldera. Raven Kaldera is a lot of things. Among them, I consider him my friend. But he is a shaman, author, educator, activist, priest… and stands at the crossroads between many different communities. There are some wild rumors about him though, so he developed a page just to address them. He has a cool websites on pagan BDSM, runs Alfred Press (for power exchange books) along with his great team, Asphodel Press (for pagan books and more), and the Goddess he serves (Hela, the Norse Goddess of death) works him harder than anyone I know. He is prolific, passionate, and holds himself with a lot of grace.During the class, one of the ideas broached was the notion of sex magic being magic that is fueled by the energy of sex. It’s pretty straightforward. He reminded me of the concept that sex creates energy, and energy can be used in a variety of ways.Magic is a form of technology. It needs an energy source. That energy source can originate in a wide variety of places, the question is where does the energy come from. Is it from prayer, sacrifice, connection? From anger, suffering (in the case of ordeals), tears? We each produce energy, and use energy as we walk through the day, but sex can produce a lot of energy. But what do we do with it? We cum, and it is gone. Some Taoist sex magic practitioners do seminal retention, keeping the energy and the body fluids inside themselves. Some Thelemites use the energy directly, cock in hand chanting their will as the cum exits their body and fuels the words on their lips into creation.Raven had also brought up the notion that, what if instead of having that energy dissipate out into the universe, we took even an occasional drab of that energy and sent it towards healing the world. Or taking prayers towards a friend and fueling that prayer (assuming that friend actually wanted those prayers, rather than saying “quick healing” when they and their doctors wanted “aligned and healthy healing,” something that quick healing might not deliver). I decided that I wanted to do that with my masturbatory acts. That until Yule, every time I masturbated, my orgasms would be used to make the world a better place.
I ran the idea past my partner, and she mentioned that it might be good to start by focusing on us. In her saying so, the airline steward in my mind was chanting the words of putting your mask on before helping others. Put your mask on before helping others. How many times have I, over the years, given energy to others before putting that mask on myself?But my brain could not wrap around energy of this sort just for me right now, but for us, this thing called US, that I could do.Laying on my back, or side, or under sudsy water, or occasionally standing (in the shower usually), or rarely on my belly, it is just me and myself. My husband, myself. He and I discussed it, and this we offer. But this we enjoy. It is two different experiences.I enjoy myself. Visions of lust and debaucher, ropes flying, asses in the air, mouths descending. Seamed stockings, high heels, boot treads on backs. Tight jeans stripped off, fingers sliding in, cocks buried deep. Lips, hips, sighs and screams. Soft and sensual, hard punches pushed against walls. Concrete ground puddled in the rain, piss flowing on soft grass over skin. Petting the back of a shoulder, spooned up together.Fingers dance upon my body, Hitachi in hand, fingers between my thighs, wrapping around myself. I do not sacrifice, I indulge. My husband, myself, we dance together bucking and silent moans so as to not wake anyone else I am staying with. Or I lay still, my hands doing the work wrapped around my cock as I envision them on top of me, my hands pulling them in.But right before I cum, as it is building, the words cross my lips of what I want to send towards the thing towards us, that which will grow the seed already there, the fertilizer for the soil.“Deeper connection”“Healing”“Love”“Trust”“Bliss”“Loving Communication”And eruption, the wave cums out. The wave carries the fertilizer, the energy, the bliss and healing. Healing of bodies, healing of past wounds unneeded for moving forward. Trust between us. Bliss. Deeper connection. Love. Always love.This offering I give.
Now, sex magic and magical sex are not the same, as Lady Pandion and I recently discussed when I was teaching in North Carolina for TMG. Sex Magic is using sex to fuel magic, spells, and ritual work, at least within the definition we were discussing. Magical Sex is sex that has a magical component, has magic, spiritual or ritual elements. It is the Gods descending, it is setting sacred space for sacred connection. Then of course there is Magic Fetishism, where the trappings of magic get our genitals engaged, for example wanting to have sex in a giant pentacle while your partner fucks you dressed as Baphomet, the goat-headed and black-winged deity, being something that is not spiritual or supposed to be “real,” it’s just really hot.Now, can both of the first two, or even all 3, be Sex Magic. That Sex Magic becomes an umbrella term, and Erotic Alchemy fills in for the first? Sure. Because language is confusing. But what is important to me is that not all Magical Sex is Sex Magic. And not all Sex Magic is Magical Sex. And a lot of Magical Fetishism has nothing to do with the first two. Though, warning, that last one can sometimes do magical “work” that none of the participants expected to be “real.”So between here and Yule (December 21), each time I cum, I fuel and focus the relationship I am in. I grow us and sustain us, wherever I am.Magic.Beauty.Ideas stored in Moleskins. Because memory is magic, and so am I. And so are you, no matter what spells you spell out in your life.