Its been a while

...since I got honestly queer/transbashed, but the last 24 hours were yeah, hm. Egged (in my new versaci shirt, fucking assholes) on the steps at Johnson and Brunswick, and then this morning catching the cab being verbally assaulted with H by a very drunk asshole of a man. Hm, its been a while. The egging was proceeded by said assholes whistling in our direction, then as I looked up to smile, having the egg hit against the wall next to my shoulder, exploding egg everywhere. We had already been in a challenging mood- kind of good that we randomly ran into someone we knew from Syd a moment later and we had drinks before heading back to Spideys. But, on that same corner 30 minutes earlier we got to get my suit dealer (I have a new mens 3piece suit that looks stunning on me) to start talking to her boyfriend about fantasies and fun sex, and thinking in general about personal rather than societally expected desires, so worth it.We flew into Melbourne on Saturday morning and attended Midori's Erotic Humiliation class, and Military and Interrogation play- omg I did a push up, not a knees one, a real one! Hunter and I ended being drafted for boot camp, and getting picked on by "mom" as babysitter and kiddo. Good classes, yup, and afterwards we had one of the more quality casual evenings in ages- pizza, beer, a slice of play, and eating pizza nakkid watching Iron Chef, after making eyes at the hot leatherman working at Dungeon Outfitters. Sunday we slept in late and then got ready like crazy with multiple failed run through attempts for Hellfire Ressurrection- there were a few major technical difficulties so my aerial show did not happen- but ya know what, I'm REALLY glad I had to wing it as it were. If I had done my aerial show and been suspended then mummified, I would have visually ruined Midori's show who did a, yup, while fabric midair installation. Instead I was a skeleton bride (erzuli meets persephone) on a stage covered in beer bottles, who was stripped down to corset and skirt and shaved bald while screaming by Hunter (baron samedi/hades), then forced to pierce my own head, then my skeleton aides came out and I pierced wings into my arms that were 4m+ each, and I was a screaming angelic pained bride crying (real tears, whoo hoo, I love crying on command) as my wings were sliced up, my piercings ripped out, and I bled a lot. The music? Standing outside a broken phonebvooth by RadioGods, Ordinary World by Duran Duran, and I Choose Life by Rumors of the Big Wave... it was my depression becomes a fight against suicide piece, with shit pulling you down how we have to screaming fight our way to the surface and just keep surviving if not thriving sometimes.The rest of the night- great shows (so good after my emotional crash from harsh words for about 5 minutes), lots of flirting and seeing folks I knew, and a great blowjob on the dancefloor as the base played against H's back.Monday was work- a great shoot at IFeelMyself, and lots of coffee dates with various folks, much goodness- then bought my suit and headed off to hit strip clubs- the first one was abyssmal, Centerfold- we were 2 of 3 folks in the place not working, in the dark, yuck. Mens Gallery was much better, and random blokes bought us drinks, we gave sex advice, and I met a really fabulous stripper from BC who I adore. Tuesday was a coma day with running errands, and some hard news that had to be digested so we just hung out and tryed to stay afloat. Breathe in through your gills, head towards the surface, pull me up. Dive down into the filth, breathe in, gag, hope and pray for the best.An interesting difference in definitions that I hit last night at Trampoline gelati. What is sex with other folks? What needs discussed? For me, if I am actively involved in the play with my partner, with other folks or not, I don't think of it in my brain as not being with my partner- its my partner with fab human additions. Hunter says that event play doesn't count in his head, for example what happens at Hellfire stays at hellfire as it were... I disagree. He and are not monogamous or anything (though I've been playing with remarkably few people given my history in this last year), but it was an interesting topic of discussion of differences of definition. At one point he mentioned a don't ask don't tell policy on one point, and I had to process it hard- I dislike lack of information being a basis for relationship communication, but he and I dug down and realized a few points of what we both we talking about. Its so refreshing to find someone who doesn't need to resolve it all in one night, but will point out "no, that, what is that, stop self censoring", and will agree to disagree while on other points finding middle ground. He laughs and says he's not a romantic- ha.After diving through some of my wierdness, this morning I put him on a bus back to Sydney. I tried to find an available ink shop to get a small piece done and failed. Instead I'm doing more coffee dates today, and then likely packing and reading, sounds perfect. Small gifts, interesting requests, pieces of pain and pieces of joy. A lot of time of comfort in my body as of late, between bad gender days, which has been great- its what makes the bashing suck all the more.And a happy note- Hunter has his stateside tickets according to his mum, woot!Class notes: Unless things chnage I will *not* be teaching in BC in January as hoped. However, Saturday December I will be teaching for a woman's space (women, female history, etc) group an intermediate bondage class in Portland, OR- details to come soon.

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Bondage Bunny and Brutal Bear go to the Squat

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Pieces of Pain, Pieces of Perfection