A break to philosophize
http://edwarddain.livejournal.com/388605.htmlThe above post came across my friends list a few days ago and has been open as I work on the survey project. I keep looking at it.I am at a very strange place with many of my human interactions. Things I felt were well defined have become fuzzy, things I thought were gone have come back (or gone again)... and I'm an odd calm about it. But I know that if I am going to have consciously constructed relationships of any sort, be they Dominant/submissive, Master/Hound, Sir/Slut- whatever, they need upkeep and a strongly defined concept that I back 112%. This was triggered again by the line by sa_salope of:"I serve my master because he holds me accountable to his standards of service, loyalty and practices and because he chooses to allow me that privilege."I do not know any more if I can clearly state what my standards of service are. Loyalty, yes. Practices, often. But standards of service is nebulous- and I imagine that is hard for those who serve me. How can they excel if I do not give them the ability to excel?But the rest of the entry, and the re-quoted post, hit me far more with my role as an owned human. Call it God-slavery, call it being a tool of the divine, call it whatever tickles your fancy... I belong to Bear.So inspired by sa_salope, I must offer...I do not serve my patron so she will save me from myself.I do not serve my patron so she will fix me.I do not serve my patron so she will control my compulsions.I do not serve my patron so she will coddle me.I do not serve my patron so she will excuse my responsibilities.I do not serve my patron so she will give me status.I do not serve my patron so she will be my self control.I do not serve my patron so she will hand me all the answers on a silver platter.I do not serve my patron so she will tell me it will be ok.I do not serve my patron so I have someone to blame.Some of her other points don't apply in my case, as excellent as they may be. Yes, Bear may change me, She already has rewired me and spit me back out to the world to do her work (and occasionally does minor patch jobs when leasing me out to others), but it's not to fix me. That is part of my job as an evolving human.MrEasy's comment mentioned in the above link blew me away: “My slave does not question my authority, I do not question his competence.”So it is.