Pieces of Passion 11 - Crazy Little Thing Called... Fucking Outside

I find myself this weekend at Free Spirit Alliance's Sacred Sexuality Beltane. Already I have debuted my newest class: “Desired Object, Forgotten Object: Objectification for Animists” that went really well, went to a lovely opening ritual, and went for a long hike through the woods to find an abandoned cabin overlooking the river where ravens were roosting before playing in the woods with my hiking companion... so, in honor of Beltane...Pieces of PassionPiece #11- Crazy Little Thing Called... Fucking OutsideCause it's the first of May, first of MayOutdoor fucking starts todaySo bring your favorite ladyOr at least your favorite layThe water's not cold baby dip in your big toeMaybe I'll see you in flagrante delictoGrass below you, sky aboveCelebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside-from “First of May” by Jonathan Coulton That's right, its May Day, Beltane, which means the time honored tradition of outdoor sex. Outdoor sex is both incredibly easy and ridiculously frustrating if a few things are not considered in advance.What? You mean it's not all spontaneous? Oh, it can be, but like the boyscout motto says- “Be Prepared.”You will need:-Something to put down on the ground/against the tree/on the rock, etc. (if you choose not to, be prepared for grass burn, allergy reactions, bug bites, bugs on you, random animal poop, or other such things)-Protection against STDs. (just because it's outside doesn't mean you don't need a condom, gloves, dams, etc- and take it back home with you- they don't bio degrade so well)-Lube or other sex toys (I keep a sample-sized lube in my jacket pocket along with 2 condoms, just in case- and a bandanna can become an easy blindfold, a belt can be fast bondage)-A sense of humor (stuff will go in an unplanned manner. Be willing to roll with the punches, laugh off a stick poking you in the back or a squirrel watching you quizzically)Now all you need is a place for outdoor sex! Backyards with high fences are an easy option (your own preferably), while spots in the middle of nowhere are a good bet too. Giant parks, no matter how giant they are, run the risk of people coming along- which can add to the thrill, and the legal risk- weigh them out as consenting adults.Points of note:-Sand in your clothes or on your skin has an uncanny ability to get into condoms, be careful! Wash off lest the grain break down the latex or cause abrasion in other ways.-Rain and sex is nice if its warm, hilarious if it's muddy, but can lead to illnesses etc if it turns cold fast.-On really hot days sex might be just the thing- but beware of dehydration and sun stroke- other forms of stroking is much more fun!Have a merry Beltane!