Dear beautiful beings,
This is a tender letter to write. I hope it will be received with support and love, as I know the process of writing it is being one that has been imperfect in giving myself those things. Giving ourselves love and support is a practices, and practices require practice. I am practicing here with you.
Over the past 6 weeks, my migraines, vertigo (likely my Meniere’s disease), headaches, and likely my TLE (temporal lobe epilepsy) have been acting up. My lower back and SI joint have also been having adventures. These in turn affects my mental health, or at least its outcomes do, and/or simply my mental health challenges have been acting up. There is nothing “bad” happening in my life situationally speaking, in fact I am quite blessed with wonderful friends, partners, and a career that is emotionally fulfilling. However, having had to cancel more than 1/3 of my social or work commitments in the past 6 weeks have been hard, and it has made me do some reflecting again.
I have already rescheduled the Delving Into Power intensive to April 8th-10th. I realized that if I had to really focus to teach a two hour class, or being unable to focus through things, it was not a good choice to aim for 3 days and a total of 20 hours of teaching/leading. This was a really hard decision, and I am grateful for the folks who have been either rolling their registrations forward or accepting refunds with love and grace.
I am keeping my Patreon-only classes on the books, and am excited for them. I’m also keeping my Wicked Grounds, Passional, and Kink Positive classes. However, I have postponed the Delving Into Power reunion until future notice, and am doing the same with Weekly Wednesdays.
That last one is hard. Really hard. It is my deep passion, but I am aware that there have been days I have been having challenges getting out of bed, times when I have been on the floor unable to sit up, and times where I can’t stop crying. Though I know folks who have it much worse than me, I have had to actively remind myself that this is not the “suffering Olympics” and it is okay that where I am being shut down is not the same as others. Each of us have our own points.
I will continue to see individual coaching and divination clients, but only with folks who understand that we may have to reschedule day-of. I’m working out what that looks like with established folks, and am grateful for folks who have run with things as they stand as it were. As of right now I am teaching at SW Leather Conference in January, and I’m excited for that. Seeing some of my specialists frustratingly isn’t available for a while because long-haul COVID folks, and COVID folks in general, are needing them as well. I bring this up because it means I can’t guarantee yet what the new year will look like.
The lineup for the Weekly Wednesdays that was determined by my Patreon supporters will start up when the series starts up again, hopefully in January but perhaps later. The monthly Patreon-only classes are currently being voted on, and will be announced at “The Queerness of Magic, the Magic of Queerness” on Monday’s patron-only class. I will still be providing weekly resources and materials over on Patreon as well. Patrons will also be receiving their postcards in the mail.
So there we are then. This is really hard to do. I grew up with “what you produce is what values you as a person” to a level that when I was being non-productive I would contemplate suicide. Thus, stepping back from some of what I am doing is a vulnerable thing for me to do, because it is also me practicing the notion of having value beyond productivity. This is not a full break though – beyond the classes mentioned I will also be delivering a few videos, trying to catch up on emails (over 3k in my main non-newsletter/social media inbox), working on taxes (I need a new CPA if any Denver-ites have one)… ha! And look at me, defending my value through production again. Thanks capitalism and childhood.
Thank you all in advance.
My upcoming events that you can still find me at through the end of the year:
- November 12, 2021 – Featured Poet performing at the Mercury Cafe open poetry night – Mercury Cafe – Denver, CO
- November 15, 2021 – Teaching “The Queerness of Magic, the Magic of Queerness” accessible only to my patrons – Patreon-Only Series – Online Worldwide
- November 17, 2021 – Teaching “Kink and Disabilities” – Wicked Grounds – Online Worldwide
- November 18, 2021 – Teaching “Rope for Sex” – Passional 101 Series – Online Worldwide
- November 23, 2021 – Teaching “Solo Dominance, Submission, and Surrender” – Kink Positive – Online Worldwide
- November 28, 2021 – Lee’s 42nd Birthday! No specific event, just The Answer 🙂
- December 5, 2021 – Teaching “Beyond Bowed Heads: Rituals for Dominance and Submission” – Wicked Grounds– Online Worldwide
- December 13, 2021 – Teaching a class accessible only to my patrons – Patreon-Only Series – Online Worldwide
- December 22, 2021 – Teaching “Bondage and Breath” – Wicked Grounds – Online Worldwide
Much love to you all,