I was writing today… such a simple thing hit me full force in my body, aching and quaking in my skin. What I wrote: If we go into judgemental behavior, think “huh, that was judgmental” rather than “I am such an ass for being judgmental.” The first is an action, the second is an identity. [...]
I am delighted that fall has come in New York. Like my friend Boymeatwho dances each time it turns to late spring and early summer, I am delighted because one of my historical fetishes becomes common, rather than rare. The fetish? Sweaters. Boymeat’s fetish is for feet, something everyone who knows him seems to know. [...]
Another waiting room, another round of the same, the new. When facing the shadow of our own truth, where do we turn? Inward – Outward – Through Chapter 7 becomes a reflection in the mirror, judgement and projection painted upon my brow. Who do we become, when we are but ourselves? The screen clouds, chairs [...]
I have had guilt over a processing tool I use. Distraction. Over the years I have had a number of different individuals, when I hit an emotional spiral and am spinning with my issues, say I have to keep digging. I do, and I spiral deeper, deeper, into an emotional abyss- brands on my arms [...]
Our bodies have profound wisdom. This skin suit we have is so full of information, capacity, knowledge… it picks up things we could never hear, never see. It understands things our conscious mind is never aware of. I am blessed by my body, blessed for my body. And yet, how often have I not listened? [...]
This morning I got an email asking why I singled out folk with mental illness as something to “watch out for,” when it comes to working with Sacred Kink, in my book “Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond.” I speed-responded to the individual, then went back to the manuscript and made sure [...]
Back in the day this journal used to be my journal. In 1998 I put up “Welcome to the MortalCity,” an homage to my sexual journey and Dar Williams. Back on the PC-EZ servers. Early edgy sexuality journal voices, our voices echoing back and forth to each other across the pixels and poor layouts that [...]
On the drive back from Dark Odyssey: Fusion, my friend asked me “So, how was the event? Did you have fun?” My Boy piped up and asked if he could answer it for me. Out of sheer amusement, I said yes. He said not really, as I was too busy running everything. My brain stops, [...]
This morning, I had it inferred to me, more than subtly, that since I an not financially well off, I am a poor choice in partner. This was one of their concerns, along with my gender stuff, and some of my health stuff… and though those last two hurt, the first one really triggered me. [...]