Oral Sex, Power Exchange, Consent, and STI Resources

Hello beautiful beings,

It was really hard for Ms. Cenna and I to have to cancel our appearance on Friday at the Virtual Intimacy Retreat, but my body was not up to it. However, we were able to talk with Dr. Hazel-Grace Yeats for half an hour about the topic (including am exercise from the class) in this podcast about Turning It Around: Switching Places in the Bedroom. For a general hour long discussion you can also check out Switching, Authenticity, and Emotional Fatigue we did with Reid Mahalko, Luckily my throat is mostly healed today so I will be appearing on the racism and consent on Sunday.

Before my throat completely swelled up, I was able to lead a class/discussion on destigmatizing STIs (sexually *and* socially transmitted illnesses) and wow, what an action packed time. If you only watch one thing on the topic, please watch Ella Dawson’s TEDx talk on herpes, stigma, and awareness. However, we covered a lot of ground from informed consent and awareness of risks, how expensive testing can be, not vilifying people’s choices, making our own decisions, and how sometimes doctors make choices for us. 

I promised that I would share some of the resources we shared there for folks who could not make it… so here you go!

Whew! As you can see, it was *quite* the lively discussion, and we will be continuing the discussion that was being held about oral sex this Wednesday too 🙂 

This week, come join me at: 

  • The Intersection of Consent and Whiteness – Panel 
    July 12, 2020 (2-4p Pacific, 4-6p Central, 5-7p Eastern)With The Consent Academy
    Share on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/events/2686372781621922/ 
    Share on Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/events/921268 
    Register for tickets: https://www.strangertickets.com/events/107576788/the-intersection-of-consent-and-whiteness 
    In this time, when we are all exploring our racial identity, it can be hard to know how to talk about things, or even what to say. It can be hard to figure out what we should and shouldn’t do. And it can feel overwhelming to figure it all out on your own. The Consent Academy (an educational collective based out of Seattle) has one answer to make things easier: consent. We believe using consent concepts as a base will help you better navigate racial interactions. Consent offers tools for a better way to communicate and treat people. Join our panelists for a 90 minute discussion on some of the difficulties around consent & race and how we, as white folks, can use consent to be better and stronger allies. Includes time at the end for Q&A.
  • Approaches to Oral Sex 
    July 15, 2020 (1-2:30p Pacific, 3-4:30p Central, 4-5:30p Eastern)
    Share on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/events/283267736110926/ 
    Share on Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/events/924637 
    Join Zoom Meeting
    Meeting ID: 243 929 4154
    Password: 136777
    Deemed illegal or immoral in some cultures while seen as commonplace or a cultural norm in others, oral to genital stimulation is a tool for erotic expression that there has many techniques to explore. Whether you see it as “third base” or “the most intimate type of passion,” let us explore the double (or triple) standards based on gender and genital configuration (from diverse cisgender male and female to trans bodies), and the medical realities present in this sort of play. Each of us has favorite skills and approaches too, so we will share descriptions of skills with each other (no live demonstration or nudity during the discussion), talk about diverse anatomy and interests, and dive into our passions (and turn-offs) concerning this sort of sexual activity. 
  • Power Exchange, Power Dynamics: Conscious Inequality, Dominance, and Submission
    July 19, 2020 (6-8pm Pacific, 8-10p Central, 9-11p Eastern)
    Share on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/events/971213073312510/
    Share on Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/events/923141 
    Purchase Tickets: https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4636181 
    When most people outside of the BDSM community talk about Age Play, images like adults in diapers tend to turn a lot of folks off (even if that can be fun). But Age Play for consenting adults can be SO much more! We will explore personal, cultural, and universal archetypes of parenthood, childhood, and all kinds of kidhood and adultdom to find a voice for our own diverse desires from naughty teenage girlz (who says kidz are bottoms?) to packs of boy scoutz. Let’s look at pre-verbal, toddler, school kid, teen, and a wide variety of adult roles that we can enjoy for roleplaying or lifestyle identities. Daddies, Mommies, other familial roles will be explored, as well as how to incorporate age play into your other kinks, while we also touch on the land mines of our pasts and helping kidz and adultz who have been emotionally hurt by past kink relationships.

To check out other classes I have coming up in July and beyond (including another date for Power Exchange, Power Dynamics on July 28th), visit my Upcoming Appearances page to learn more… including multiple courses with Wicked Grounds to be announced soon. From there you can sign up for my free newsletter as well. To enjoy further free material from me, consider joining me over on Patreon as well 🙂

Much love to you all and see you soon!


Lee Harrington



Lee Harrington

Lee Harrington is an internationally known sexuality, relationships, and personal authenticity educator. Having taught in all 50 states and in 6 countries, he brings a combination of playful engagement and thoughtful academic dialogue to a broad audience. An award-winning author and editor on gender, sexual, and sacred experience, his books include “Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Journeys,” and "Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond," among many other titles. He has been blogging online since 1998, and been teaching worldwide since 2001. Welcome to his world, and your chance to expand your mind and heart alike.

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