Embodiment, Rope, and Mourning

Hello beautiful beings,

Last weekend it was such an honor to be part of a panel on “LGBTQ Queerbodied Intimacy/Sexuality and Relating to Self and Others” for the Embodiment Conference. It was such an honor getting to share virtual space with Ayelet Natan(Israel), Ayo Gry  (Germany), Dr. Robert Allan (Denver, USA), and our wonderful host Moran Bodner (Israel). We shared our wounds, our tools for self-connection, our hopes, and how we are building space for our individual experiences of queerness. You can go here to get some of the resources and notes from the panel, or (since not the live presentation), access the class through a paid event registration.

There is a lot of skin hunger in the world right now, and it was something we talked about on the panel. Two weeks ago I traveled to Phoenix, Arizona to officiate a wedding for old friends – a decision I had been weighing out for the past 6 months. Sitting down with Ms. Cenna, she agreed to my proposal of risk levels when traveling and when there (who to stay with, their exposure levels, eating outside if going out) and then staying quarantined for a week until the 5+ days had passed before a test would be viable (5 days after past possible exposure – the flight). I then went into a drive-in COVID-19 testing location, and stayed quarantined  until we got the all clear.

We did exactly that, and I will say the test was not painful, just surreal/slightly invasive feeling. As a non-driver I also got to get tested on a sunny breezy day sitting under the shade of a tree – my doctor loved getting out of her office and sitting a few feet away in the shade 🙂

One of the things that has happened for me from that experience though is a skin/proximity loss. In the past 8 months, other than my partner and polyamorous family, I have seen three friends total. Suddenly, I got to see a bundle of folks in a shared social space. I tried my best to distance, or when hugging, both parties holding their breath and facing away then sanitizing our hands afterwards. It was… strange? Uncomfortable? Heart-warming? Scary? Enriching? So many feelings. 

When I don’t have something for a while, I can normalize. Having had it though… it was both re-fueling to see people, and now I miss it too. I don’t plan on changing my risk profile choices, it simply is something I am sitting with now. A new skin understanding. 

One of the tools I have used for skin hunger during this time is self-bondage. Feeling lines wrapped around me, holding me tight. A hug delivered by the lines, my own will, and the people ever held by that same rope. It is a gift from myself to myself, a form of love delivered in the touch. I’m glad that Saturday (tomorrow) I will be talking at the Embodiment Conference about embodied rope, because this will be one of the pieces I will be passing forward to folks. 


This week, come join me at: 

  • Beyond Restraint: Embodied Rope for Beauty, Bondage, Healing, and Connection 
    At Embodiment Conference
    October 24, 2020 (7-8p Pacific, 9-10p Central, 10-11p Eastern)
    Learn more about this event! https://theembodimentconference.org/#LeeHarrington 
    Rope bondage. Shibari. Kinbaku. When many people think of erotic restraint, images of intense pornography often come to mind. This is only one small sliver of what ropework can be used for. In this class we will explore how this powerful tool can create amazing art on the canvases of our lovers bodies, or be used for transformative rituals of intimacy and healing. This simple concept of wrapping lines around a beloved (or ourselves) can tap into the power of our sensuality, mindfulness, passion, and delight. It can also challenge us into cathartic ordeals and emotional transformation. Bring your curiosity and open up to the possibilities this often misunderstood tool can hold.
  • Mourning More than the Dead: Relationships, Identities, and Other Losses
    October 28, 2020 (1-330p Pacific, 3-430p Central, 4-30p Eastern)
    Share on Facebook: Share on Facebook: https://fb.me/e/3jO7W9ZRU
    Share on Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/events/947287 
    Join Zoom Meeting: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/2439294154?pwd=ZGFhRWVaTjVhK1ZpZmthU0JrWmZFZz09 
    Meeting ID: 243 929 4154
    Passcode: 136777love 
    Find your local number: https://us02web.zoom.us/u/kcvmiz5cpX
    With Samhain, Dia De Los Muertos, and Halloween fast approaching, let us turn our attention to the things in are life which are gone . Oftentimes we think  this applies to people who have passed away, but it is important to remember that this also applies to relationships, gender, personal expression, hobbies, jobs, or body capacity that are no longer part of our daily lives. How do we mourn? How do we honor our past? What lessons did we learn from those pieces of life  and how are we carrying those into the future? Let’s share skills for these things with each other. 
    Be aware that this discussion may be difficult for some of us. It is encouraged to leave space after the discussion for yourself.

I also have other classes and events coming up in the next few weeks that you may be interested in:

To check out other classes and intensives, visit my Upcoming Appearances page to learn more. From there you can sign up for my free newsletter as well. To enjoy further free material from me, consider joining me over on Patreon 🙂

Much love to you all and see you soon!

Yours in Passion and Soul,

Lee Harrington



Lee Harrington

Lee Harrington is an internationally known sexuality, relationships, and personal authenticity educator. Having taught in all 50 states and in 6 countries, he brings a combination of playful engagement and thoughtful academic dialogue to a broad audience. An award-winning author and editor on gender, sexual, and sacred experience, his books include “Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Journeys,” and "Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond," among many other titles. He has been blogging online since 1998, and been teaching worldwide since 2001. Welcome to his world, and your chance to expand your mind and heart alike.

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