Consent and Altered States

Hello Beautiful Beings,

I’ve just gotten back from a writing retreat in Boulder, during which I edited and worked on my forthcoming book, Become Your Own Beloved. I am so excited to share this project with the world. From dating to wedding myself, I have found immense meaning and joy in cultivating my partnership with myself, and I am excited to share the tools I have learned on this journey. (I have already begun to share pieces of my book with my Patrons.) This also comes perfectly in time with my 12th anniversary for my self-marriage

I’m always surrounded by books: books I’ve read, books I’ve written, books I want to read, books I want to write. I’ve bought and been gifted many books over the years, as well as been asked to read books written by others, and I’ve learned that consenting to reading a book rarely involves a simple “yes” or “no” answer. My responses have ranged anywhere from “Yes, I want to read this book, but I don’t have time right now” to “No, but I’d like to read x, y, or z written by you.”

When it comes to play and/or sex, consent is rarely as simple as “yes” or “no.” Instead, consent involves asking ourselves and potential partners questions such as:

  • What activities do you consent to doing? What language do you consent to hearing? Where do you consent to playing? When do you consent to playing?
  • How will you verbally or non-verbally communicate if your consent changes?
  • What do you think of mid-scene additions, i.e. suggesting new activities after you’re already begun playing?
  • And so much more!

How might ongoing consent negotiations shift if you are entering altered states of consciousness during sacred kink play? I will be exploring these questions and others during Midori’s Consent Dojo on Tuesday, September 6th, at 5p PST. You can also hear my thoughts on kink play and altered states of consciousness by attending one of my upcoming Sacred Kink class at Sex Down South in Atlanta, Georgia (live and online), during the weekend of September 8th-10th.

If you want to continue to explore consent and how it changes when engaging with mind-altering substances or situations, you can peruse some of the below free resources:


In the past few weeks over on Patreon, I have had a chance to connect with my Patrons regularly through:

I also want to invite you to listen to some of my recent podcast appearances:

For September, come join me LIVE at:

Sex Down South

Atlanta, Georgia

September 8th-10th

Purchase Tickets:

“Located in Atlanta, GA, the Sex Down South Conference provides sexuality workshops taught by educated and amazing presenters from around the world.  Enthusiasts join in the fun and learn from the best – all while doing it in an inclusive and loving environment…

As we hope that the COVID-19 pandemic slows its roll, we are taking note as a lot of us have had to deal with mourning the deaths of our loved ones, recovering from COVID-19, and moving into a whole new world full of countless possibilities. As we’re moving on the tail of The Great Resignation and into The Great Reimagination, we know that we can’t move forward without healing ourselves and restoring our bodies and our work so that we can see the Sexual Revolution as we see fit.  This year is about coming together in love (like always) and giving each other the love, healing, and encouragement needed to feel full. Come play with us, be restored and brand new again!”

I will be offering two workshops during this conference: “Beyond Pronouns: Tools for Allyship of Transgender and Gender Diverse Individuals” and “Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond.”

Playing with the Head: Hair and Face Bondage

Online Worldwide with Wicked Grounds

Wednesday, September 14th, 6-8p PST (7-9p MST, 9-11p EST)

Buy tickets today:

We look out into the world through our eyes, listen to it with our ears, breathe in every breath through our nose and mouth, and communicate our desires with smiles, sparkling looks and verbal conversation. It is understandable why for many people, facial bondage is an invasion of personal space, an intimate form of play, and a hot way to get someone’s attention. We will begin with making rope gags, tying hair bondage, and creating woven head harnesses, but by the end of the class you will even be able to construct a complex head cage! Bring a 20-25 foot piece of 2-4mm line (nylon, parachute cord, hemp – whatever works for you) for the head cage, plus a single piece of 6mm line for gags.

Kink and Disabilities

Online Worldwide via Patreon

Tuesday, September 20th, 6p PST (7p MST, 9p EST)

Join my Patreon at any level in order to participate:

Getting freaky, kinky, and exploring dominance or submission is desired by many people, and yet for those of us who live with physical, neurological, or mental disabilities we have unique realities in these explorations or play. Let’s talk about how having disabilities can affect how we do BDSM and other kinks! This might include visible or invisible disabilities, neurological non-normativity, realities that come from aging, plus blindness and visual impairment as well – how do you modify your explorations for your (or a partners) realities. Let’s talk about our challenges, brainstorm for each other, and also discuss the fun or creativity that have come up along our journeys!

The Call Beyond Equals: Dominance and Submission 101

Online Worldwide with Wicked Grounds

Wednesday, September 21st, 6-8p PST (7-9p MST, 9-11p EST)

Buy tickets today:

In our culture we are taught that the ideal relationship is one between equals – but some of us are drawn to power exchange, dominance, submission, service, surrender, and control for a variety of reasons. For some this is a fun roleplaying activity in the bedroom, and for others, there is a calling from deep within to make this a reality in everyday life. We will discuss the variety of types of dominant/submissive and leader/follower relationship systems and structures out there, look at our own desires and fears with these sorts of play or relationships, and see how we can incorporate the parts that call to us into our sex lives or world at large.

I also have other classes and events coming in the next few months! I will be teaching about sacred kink, erotic objectification, and more. You can see a few of my upcoming offerings below, and you can visit my Upcoming Appearancespage to learn about the rest of my future offerings this summer and beyond.

To check out all my further scheduled classes and intensives throughout the year (and more being added regularly), visit my Upcoming Appearances page to learn more. To enjoy further free material from me, consider joining me on Patreon where I share weekly resources, monthly classes, and more 🙂

Much love to you all and see you soon!

Yours in Passion and Soul,
Lee Harrington


Lee Harrington

Lee Harrington is an internationally known sexuality, relationships, and personal authenticity educator. Having taught in all 50 states and in 6 countries, he brings a combination of playful engagement and thoughtful academic dialogue to a broad audience. An award-winning author and editor on gender, sexual, and sacred experience, his books include “Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Journeys,” and "Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond," among many other titles. He has been blogging online since 1998, and been teaching worldwide since 2001. Welcome to his world, and your chance to expand your mind and heart alike.

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