Conscious Power, Self Rope, Negotiation, and BLM

Hello beautiful beings,

Like many of you, I am carrying a mix of emotions. Around the world, people are taking a stand that Black lives matter, with protests, powerful speeches, important corporate stands, art actions, and more. It might be thousands gathering at a time, or one personstanding up because it is the right thing to do. These things are held in contrast to violence and toxic responses from national leaders who are responding to violence against Black bodies with… violence against Black bodies. 

The world is watching us, and they are heartbroken. Angry. Journalists are being warned that it is dangerous to work in the US. Protests are happening in solidarity worldwide. I have people in my world though who haven’t understood why there is so much going on for one man, not understanding that this is about everything that came before as well. Trevor Noah talks about this being about the breaking of contract between a society and a segment of its population, and I think his video on how we got here and what it is about is worth the watch

Black lives matter. And before you say “All Lives Matter,” I invite you to look over this great list of why that statement, as true as it might seem, is really problematic. I also appreciate this simple description by Doug Williford on the topic of Black Lives Matter:

  • “If my wife comes to me in obvious pain and asks “Do you love me?,” an answer of “I love everyone“ would be truthful, but also hurtful and cruel in the moment. If a co-worker comes to me and says”My father just died,” a response of “Everyone’s parents die,” would be truthful, but hurtful and cruel in the moment. So when a friend speaks up in a time of obvious pain and hurt and says “Black lives matter,” a response of “All lives matter” is truthful. But it’s hurtful and cruel in the moment.” ~ Doug Williford

Change happens at home, needs to happen at home, because we all carry unconscious racism because we grew up in a racist society. We all get to keep dismantling, keep taking apart our own biases, all the time. We get to do the work of helping our own family and friends. We get to unlearn what we never knew we had picked up as kids and throughout the years we have lived. 

This week it was my honor to attend a class on “Social Justice in Sexuality Education,” and had my heart blown open by Dalychia Saahof Afrosexology. Oftentimes people think of sexual violence, LGBTQIA+ issues, reproductive health access, and eduity in how people are treated during care when they think of how social justice intersexts with sexual health. But she highlighted how incarceration affects rape rates and pregnancy outcomes, how economic need affects forced sex work, how healthcare in general is affected by racism in general, how orgasms are reduced for people who have to work three jobs because of financial need (shown disproportionate for women and people of color), and more. Please check out her work! I just bought a shirt from her and look forward to wearing the message “Less Opression, More Orgasms.”

So what am I doing this week? Monday I will be hosting a class for folks at the Arcadia Collective on the notions of Gender Dysphoria and Euphoria. On Wednesday I will be hosting a conversation/class about how the complex issues of consent and oppression intersect with our consensual power exchange relationships, because only by being aware of our partners realities can we deeply exchange energy with them. I love hosting this class, and look forward to doing it online for people worldwide. Wednesday night will be a chance to have everyone do something delightful with enjoying self rope bondage in the times of Covid-19, a class that is so incredibly fun and engaging for folks of any level of experience! Finally, next Sunday I am teaching a class on negotiation skills that start with checking with yourself on what you *really* want out of your kink. What an amazing coming week, I look forward to seeing you at one (or more) of these.

To check out other classes I have coming up in June, visit my Upcoming Appearancespage to learn more. They include courses on divination decks and sacred kink… and more to be announced.

Much love to you all and see you soon!


Lee Harrington


Lee Harrington

Lee Harrington is an internationally known sexuality, relationships, and personal authenticity educator. Having taught in all 50 states and in 6 countries, he brings a combination of playful engagement and thoughtful academic dialogue to a broad audience. An award-winning author and editor on gender, sexual, and sacred experience, his books include “Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Journeys,” and "Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond," among many other titles. He has been blogging online since 1998, and been teaching worldwide since 2001. Welcome to his world, and your chance to expand your mind and heart alike.

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