Gender, Creative Education, and Bedroom Switching

Hello beautiful beings,

This weekend thus far has felt like a blessing when it comes to education. During the at home encouragement/lock-down/pandemic I have decided to prioritize education, offering donation based weekly classes, teaching on multiple platforms for groups and conferences around the world, running online intensives… but also attending educational events. Whether it is going to rope safety classes with Shay Tiziano, taking a multi-month tarot series with Jade T. Perry, attending the first Virtual Intimacy Retreat back in June, or many other things – it has been important to me. I feel like as an educator I’ve been taking this time to level-up as it were.

I loved getting to attend parts of Sex Down South Conference this weekend, though I skipped parts of it for an opportunity to rest or work on mental health projects. One of the classes I did attend was Alicia Vida Ortiz‘s class on solo sex. At the end of the class Alicia had folks share various sex toys that had not been covered thus far, or techniques. Mine included pillows as solo-sex toys and permission to use as many toys as you want in one session even if it means a sink-full of washing the next day. However, I had a tech issue and couldn’t share any of my toys on video, so I told folks I would post it. Meet mine – taking a foreskin stretcher, pump, and phallus sheath to enjoy my body even more. Enjoy the YouTube video here where I shared not just the technicalities of how it works, but also about FtM anatomy and specifically my own medical realities inform how I present below the belt nowadays.

I’ll be honest, shooting that video was really hard. I had a form of “bottom surgery” a few years ago called a metoidoplasty with mons resection, and though my genitals used to be all over the internet during my time in the adult industry, I have fairly few videos or images online of my bits nowadays. Even those are under a pseudonym that I use as a way to still be an exhibitionist without it being part of my daily life. So to talk about my surgery and my genitals publicly had me nervous. I’ve already had a few folks tell me though that they learned from it, so that makes it worth it. If nothing else, I appreciate my body being an educational opportunity – when it is on my own terms.

Each of us is an educator in our own way – how do you educate others (or yourself)? 

This week, come join me at: 

  • Gender Constructs Affect Us All: Yes, Even You!
    September 16, 2020 (1-2:30p Pacific, 3-4:30p Central, 4-5:30p Eastern)
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    Join Zoom Meeting
    Meeting ID: 243 929 4154
    Password: 136777love
    Growing up every person received messages concerning what men, women, and people in general “should” be like. Perhaps you heard your grandmother talk about “being ladylike,” were told that “boys don’t cry,” or saw billboards share ideals of different genders (and how to treat them). Whether they come from family, friends, school, media, or somewhere else entirely – gender stereotypes, expectations, and perceptions have affected us all. Let’s take apart where we learned about gender, how it affected us, and how we can look at which gender stories, biases, and identities serve us today. We’ll also examine which hurt us and others, which traumas around gender need looked into, and what joy can come from claiming our own gender from here forward. 
    Though this is not aimed as a discussion concerning transgender experience, the concepts may apply to such experiences, and this space will be maintained as a safe(r) space for people of transgender, agender, and non-transgender (aka cisgender) alike.
  • Turning It Around: Switching Places in the Bedroom
    with Ms. Cenna.
    At the Virtual Intimacy Retreat
    September 18-20, 2020 (class on Sunday the 20th)
    Buy your tickets to the online conference at: 
    Do you usually take lead in life, your relationship, or the bedroom… but there are activities you like to receive or “bottom” to? Are you concerned that receiving them will make your partner think of you differently? Do you tend to follow or bottom, but want to provide delight for your partner and don’t know how? You are not alone! Through discussing our fears and sharing tips and tricks (and trying a few), we will discover ways to switch it up, have more confidence doing so, and acknowledge the vulnerability it takes to share these desires in the first place.

I also have other classes and events coming up in the next few weeks that you may be interested in:

To check out other classes and intensives, visit my Upcoming Appearances page to learn more. From there you can sign up for my free newsletter as well. To enjoy further free material from me, consider joining me over on Patreon as well 🙂

Much love to you all and see you soon!

Yours in Passion and Soul,

Lee Harrington


Image by Justin Tran


Lee Harrington

Lee Harrington is an internationally known sexuality, relationships, and personal authenticity educator. Having taught in all 50 states and in 6 countries, he brings a combination of playful engagement and thoughtful academic dialogue to a broad audience. An award-winning author and editor on gender, sexual, and sacred experience, his books include “Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Journeys,” and "Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond," among many other titles. He has been blogging online since 1998, and been teaching worldwide since 2001. Welcome to his world, and your chance to expand your mind and heart alike.

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