Over half my life…

I came across the under 35 group on FetLife this morning, and as people were making their comments on being involved for X or Y number of years, I realized I’d been part of partnered kinky sex for over half my life, and come 1+ years from now, will have been part of the public scene for half my life. And I’m only 28.

Wow. Its those moments when the math doesn’t make sense yet you know it to be true. You have photographic evidence. I went to my first public play party at Beyond the Edge Cafe in August 1995. I became involved with my first Master in 1993.

My Slut and I, a few weeks ago, had a moment. She and I were walking through San Francisco, and I was insistent that it was a problem that she was cold. That we could stop, go inside, let me give her my gloves- anything. You can’t keep taking on my pain, she insisted, its a common mistake in relationships she insisted and it was hers to bear, not mine. I could give her ideas, but I as her Sir have control over what she does, not how she feels. She then said something about “I should know that, hell, she learned that in her 20s.”

“I *am* in my 20s.”

She paused. She’d forgotten. 13+ years in the kinky sex community, author, educator, sex activist, performance artist. 28.

So yes, sometimes I make the mistakes of a 20-something.
It’s not the T. Its not me being a “teenage boy” from hormones.
I’m just making the mistakes that sometimes folks in their 20s make.

I was blessed with having the opportunity to learn some of the lessons earlier, to pick of some of it from old soul work, to have amazing mirrors to view myself in. But some stuff does come with age, and perspective, and all that bosh- both good and ill. Yes, I’ve had lots of opportunities for learning, growth, and adventure. I am also the personality type that, to quote my 2nd Master, “lives more in one weekend than many dream to live in a lifetime,” but I’m still growing up.


Lee Harrington

Lee Harrington is an internationally known sexuality, relationships, and personal authenticity educator. Having taught in all 50 states and in 6 countries, he brings a combination of playful engagement and thoughtful academic dialogue to a broad audience. An award-winning author and editor on gender, sexual, and sacred experience, his books include “Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Journeys,” and "Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond," among many other titles. He has been blogging online since 1998, and been teaching worldwide since 2001. Welcome to his world, and your chance to expand your mind and heart alike.

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