Heart of Harmony House

This morning I find myself at one of three buildings at Harmony House, a beautiful poly compound an hour north of New York City. I was invited up here by one of the members for New Years eve, and I am feeling so incredibly grateful for the experience. Not for New Years, during which I decided I was too overwhelmed by the numbers of guests and gave myself permission to blag off and even fall asleep before the ball dropped. Nope, I am grateful for getting to spend time here, and especially exposed to Diamond.

Diamond is the female lead of the house, a woman whose service to the world and her tribe is delicious to bear witness to. Many in the kink world would know her as “one of Murphy Blue’s girls,” as he has three incredible women who come with him to events- two who live here at Harmony House. But she is so much more.Powerful, beautiful, hilarious, loving, and mindful of her tribe, her friends, and the conscious construction of a world she wanted to live in. “I knew the shape of the thing that was the void in my life,” she said. “I always waited for them [the science-fiction or fantasy characters] to come and take me away to a land where I fit, and they never did. So I figured I needed to become one of them, and make a place where others could come and be taken away.”

Living at Harmony House, there are 6 adults and 4 children. Dinner is always on the table at 6:30pm, and Friday nights are older kids friendly movie nights. Love abounds, and someone is always there to give directions for friends who call, or to help a kid with a scraped knee or math homework. The walls are decked out with novels and dvds, and laughter abounds.

I am in love with Harmony House.

I told Diamond about my desire to find others for my own tribe, dreams of similar setups of sorts. Of Aiden’s vision of horses and tribe of all ages, of my desire for chickens and space for everyone and yet having shared spaces and so much love. Where love was not about who you were with, but a whole collective and those beyond the walls as well. She smiled, nodded, and understood.

Looking around I feel the heartbeat of Harmony House.

The difference, Diamond says, between her and other poly houses she has met that later exploded, is that that heartbeat was established for years before they made it tribal. That she did not try to form a poly house before she and her first mate were over 30 and already established life tracks. That her mother was a passionate being, and never separated work from life from love.

Between Erosong and Harmony House, I feel like I am starting to not just get, but grok, how to make it work. Some of what it would take. That I am starting to see it form around me, a vision and smoky theory that is cropping up amongst my tribe at large. Seeing friends in Maine slowly take over an island. Feeling the beat of Florida and the altar of love constructed there. Knowing the joy in San Francisco on black leather wings of desire. Because it works, and not just for a few years until it explodes.

Diamond worried that she had just read too much Heinlein.

I think Heinlein looked ahead and read Diamond coming, and wrote about her dreams.


Lee Harrington

Lee Harrington is an internationally known sexuality, relationships, and personal authenticity educator. Having taught in all 50 states and in 6 countries, he brings a combination of playful engagement and thoughtful academic dialogue to a broad audience. An award-winning author and editor on gender, sexual, and sacred experience, his books include “Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Journeys,” and "Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond," among many other titles. He has been blogging online since 1998, and been teaching worldwide since 2001. Welcome to his world, and your chance to expand your mind and heart alike.


  1. More of us dreaming than you know. This IS beautiful.

  2. I agree 100% This is beautiful.

  3. I spent Yule at Erosong and had a similar experience. I stayed up with several amazing teenagers and adults sitting vigil. We watched musicals, ate junk food, and talked about boys. The kind of love that suffuses that house is so revolutionary that I was almost bowled over. Our conversations about love, gender, magic, and family made me feel so strong in myself. In the power of our ideas. The strength of this, our mycelium tribe. I kept thinking “THIS! YES! I want this. I need this. I would lay down my life for this. I will spend my life creating, facilitating, and protecting this.”

  4. This sounds like an Arcosanti project built with love. I grew up around the Arcosanti (Arizona) commune and they also knew that bringing knowledge together, communicating beyond politics, religion, technology and ego would be the true building blocks of future generations. While they have compassion and well being for each other, I think they shadow over love and family bonds (including our mycelium tribe from Asrik) that Erosong and Harmony House have created in the smaller scale.
    Agreed, very beautiful.

  5. You are most perceptive. I’ve known Diamond her entire life, and you’ve summed up her awesomeness in one post from one weekend.

  6. Mildred (Millie)

    And it was great meeting you this past weekend. Every person who comes to Harmony House, whether guest, friend, or extended family member enchiches the experience… especially those who grok what they see. And you, grokked.

    I say this from seeing Harmony House form from the early stages (giving it the nickname the Stronghold before they found the property are on now), and watching it grow. As chaotic as it may seem to some people, I visit not only to be with my boyfriend who lives there, but to connect with everyone and recharge my batteries.

    Hint- if you want to do dishes, don’t ask for permission. Sneak in when Diamond isn’t there and just start doing them. 🙂

  7. Yes. This 🙂

    Also, it was great to meet you at the party! Take care!

  8. We (my wife and I) have been around to see Harmony start from the beginning, and have felt privileged to be allowed to watch it grow. We have similar dreams, though based more around farming than anything else.

    It was fun to meet you at the party, maybe some time we can sit down and talk, when the world is not in the living room, so to speak.

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