This morning I find myself at one of three buildings at Harmony House, a beautiful poly compound an hour north of New York City. I was invited up here by one of the members for New Years eve, and I am feeling so incredibly grateful for the experience. Not for New Years, during which I decided I was too overwhelmed by the numbers of guests and gave myself permission to blag off and even fall asleep before the ball dropped. Nope, I am grateful for getting to spend time here, and especially exposed to Diamond.
Diamond is the female lead of the house, a woman whose service to the world and her tribe is delicious to bear witness to. Many in the kink world would know her as “one of Murphy Blue’s girls,” as he has three incredible women who come with him to events- two who live here at Harmony House. But she is so much more.Powerful, beautiful, hilarious, loving, and mindful of her tribe, her friends, and the conscious construction of a world she wanted to live in. “I knew the shape of the thing that was the void in my life,” she said. “I always waited for them [the science-fiction or fantasy characters] to come and take me away to a land where I fit, and they never did. So I figured I needed to become one of them, and make a place where others could come and be taken away.”
Living at Harmony House, there are 6 adults and 4 children. Dinner is always on the table at 6:30pm, and Friday nights are older kids friendly movie nights. Love abounds, and someone is always there to give directions for friends who call, or to help a kid with a scraped knee or math homework. The walls are decked out with novels and dvds, and laughter abounds.
I am in love with Harmony House.
I told Diamond about my desire to find others for my own tribe, dreams of similar setups of sorts. Of Aiden’s vision of horses and tribe of all ages, of my desire for chickens and space for everyone and yet having shared spaces and so much love. Where love was not about who you were with, but a whole collective and those beyond the walls as well. She smiled, nodded, and understood.
Looking around I feel the heartbeat of Harmony House.
The difference, Diamond says, between her and other poly houses she has met that later exploded, is that that heartbeat was established for years before they made it tribal. That she did not try to form a poly house before she and her first mate were over 30 and already established life tracks. That her mother was a passionate being, and never separated work from life from love.
Between Erosong and Harmony House, I feel like I am starting to not just get, but grok, how to make it work. Some of what it would take. That I am starting to see it form around me, a vision and smoky theory that is cropping up amongst my tribe at large. Seeing friends in Maine slowly take over an island. Feeling the beat of Florida and the altar of love constructed there. Knowing the joy in San Francisco on black leather wings of desire. Because it works, and not just for a few years until it explodes.
Diamond worried that she had just read too much Heinlein.
I think Heinlein looked ahead and read Diamond coming, and wrote about her dreams.