So today, at the Levi’s store, I boughta pair of dark dark blue 501s and a grey tee shirt with the same color ink on it with the levi’s logo.
I wandered aroung the shopping complex, and after a crepe and listening to other people’s drama, and some reading, I hopped in a cab over to a mall. I wandered around, drooled at a few things I did not buy, then took myself to dinner then Ocean’s 13.
Watching the movie, they had the AC on, so I threw on the tee shirt over my binder and tank top combo.
I left the movie and caught a glimpse of myself in some glass.
I was a generic white guy.
And wow, it really threw me for a loop.
With the ecclectic taste in fashion, the ink, the piercings- I usually have something that stands out.
But right now I have a week grown out military hair cut, and I was in brown jeans, grey and blue tee shirt, flat chest, glasses, and from face on you can’t see my ink.
It was an emotional whirlwind.
-I pass too much
-I am no longer visably queer
-I am not visable
-I look good
-I look young
-No one notices me
-Hzah, no one notices me
-I look really young
-Shit, hot queer girly with L word hair looked at me funny for cruising her
-Shit, cute straight black guy just looked at me kind of scary for cruising him for a moment then stopping myself
-Gah, random blonde woman with fake boobs kind of just cruised me?
-Oh, wait, did the hot girly just do a double take?
-Gods, I look right
-Do I look right?
-I need more ink
-I need a haircut
-I am so generic
-I am so white
-I am so generically white
-I pass too much
So yeah, that was a glimpse at 5 minutes of my scull. Ok, I know I know, whine too much? But it wasn’t bad. It was just- odd. I really was just a generic white guy. And yeah, I kind of like being generic white guy at the mall watching a movie. But not when I want to flirt, even if I’m going nowhere with it. Maybe need to reevaluate decorations… It’s also kind of funny because earlier this week Sir was teasing me, saying that post-chest surgery I would likely end up a tee shirt and jeans guy. I said no, no, not my style, I’m a button down shirt and jeans guy. But, to be honest, I tried on the tee shirt today because of him saying that, and yeah, I think I may become a select styles of tee shirt under a button down shirt guy. When I’m not wearing heels.