Alpha Subs and Type A Service

I am drawn to Type A personalities. Folks who know what they want, have passion, go for it with gusto. I adore basking in their presence and seeing them take their fire and make it into their dreams.

The magic sitting opposite them feels palpable, their will crafting reality into their vision. Or, if not their vision, seeing the world lit up through their lens. Show me your rage and indignation about the wrongs on this planet, and through you I will learn how to make this a better place for us all to live.

I’m not especially interested in someone who is inherently submissive. I have had the absolute pleasure of having submissive individuals in service to me, and been in relationship with them, and it’s hard to explain how deeply I cherish what they gave me. The knowledge, the wisdom, the rocking orgasms, the intense energy wafting towards me as I fed them a birthday meal. But in the past 10 years I have been drawn for long-term pairing to Type A personalities.

These individuals are dominant. But what blows me away is that they submit to me. They surrender to me. These alphas, these powerful women, these amazing beings of passion and fury and fire… they submit to me.

be137c9b5349f6e355bd9e4ce0c94fafThe language becomes 501. To submit, but not be submissive. To surrender, but only knowing that in turn they can never fully surrender because I don’t want them to. And yet, by being dominant over, they do become submissive to me. But they are neither submissive in general (an adjective) nor Submissive (an identity, a noun).

When I have conversations about relationships, sometimes I struggle. The words are not enough. I want people to surrender, but only if I deserve it, have earned it, have shown I am a being worth surrendering to. I want people to submit to me, but only if I truly have a hand able to steer the life energy, the prana, the chi they hand over to me. That their throat and my jaw will match up and fit like puzzle pieces.

The Type A personalities who I fall for have offered one powerful piece consistently – service. By having strength and power, capacity and capability, they can look me in the eye and say- This. This is what I can do for you. This is what I will do for you. This is the vault of my knowledge and skills, and I bring with me a trove. I will do what I can, and if I can’t do it, I will outsource.

When Butterfly drives me places, it is not because she likes driving. She bloody hates driving. But doing so is an act of service. Even when it’s not part of any sort of kink thing, it’s just getting me to the post office. Especially when it’s not part of any sort of kink thing, it’s just getting me to the post office.

In-scene service can be very sexy, and yes, it gets me hard. To have someone formally kneel at me feet and act as a holder for my drink, or to go fetch food for me acting with grace and style. Very sexy. But doing service when it is needed is far more powerful. The hard part? It’s not sexy. I can’t look at my hard cock and go yes, this service, this makes a powerful gift to me and this relationship.

When I say I don’t really want someone submissive, I’m talking about folks who are submissive in their day to day life. There are exceptions, powerful ones, but for the most part, I want Type A folk. I want someone who will look me in the eyes and say no Sir, and offer why their idea is even better, and have me go “you know what, that IS a better idea.” Because I want to invest in powerful things. Powerful people.

The trick is of course the issue of language. People hear that someone is not submissive, and they hear “they are a brat” or “Lee really wants someone who will bow to every word and poor Lee for not getting what he wants.” No. Okay, I do like folks are a tad bratty… because it lets my inner Mean Daddy or Spoiling Daddy come out. Both of those are parts of my personality that fill my spirit deliciously. I love spoiling Princesses and Lost Boys. But No. I am not poor, or suffering, or not getting what I want.

I am honored when someone who is inherently submissive serves me. It is lovely. But I come alive with a fire when someone who would not serve anyone else serves me. That they look at me and go yes, your maw, your maw can hold me if I kick and scream. That they look at me and go yes, you are worthy, I will sweat for your causes. That they look at me, offer up their throat, offer up their love, offer up themselves.

Alpha Boys. Powerful Slaves. Ferocious Femmes. I want dominant personalities. I want to walk side by side, Lord and Lady of the manor, and still know that she will aced to my will when needed, and serve the house and me with grace. But that I have zero interest in anyone else treating my Lady with disrespect, or having her serve anyone else when she is not moved to do so by her cause or her cunt.

Give me your power and your gusto. Give me your passion and your flame. Let me be powerful not because I put you down, but because I am a being worthy to be worthy next to you. And, by being blessed indeed… being one step above you each time you submit to me.


Lee Harrington

Lee Harrington is an internationally known sexuality, relationships, and personal authenticity educator. Having taught in all 50 states and in 6 countries, he brings a combination of playful engagement and thoughtful academic dialogue to a broad audience. An award-winning author and editor on gender, sexual, and sacred experience, his books include “Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Journeys,” and "Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond," among many other titles. He has been blogging online since 1998, and been teaching worldwide since 2001. Welcome to his world, and your chance to expand your mind and heart alike.

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