Deborah Anapol Clarifies…

About 6 months ago a rumor reached me in the middle of my class “Safer Magical Sex and Erotic Energy Exchanges” that internationally acclaimed author and speaker on open relationship dynamics, tantra and love Deborah Anapol believed that it was possible to use magic to protect from STDs.  I said it was not impossible, but highly improbable- and in discussion with Wintersong Tashlin he pointed out that it was a waste of good magical talent if it was possible… why spend decades mastering a craft to only use it to replace something that costs under 50 cents and isn’t that big of a deal.

I proceeded to share this rumor in three other classes, until my Boy, Aiden Fyre, asked if I had talked to Deborah about the rumor that I was now spreading anecdotally.  Well, no, I hadn’t.  So Aiden, Deborah and I opened up a dialogue.

A handful of emails back and forth later, Deborah asked if I could post this on my blog and help dispel the rumor, replacing the rumor with what she has actually said.

In my tantra workshops I used to present that there are several different belief systems about STD’s, HIV, and AIDS. I would run down what some of the different belief systems are and encourage people to get clear on what their own beliefs are and to act in harmony with their own beliefs for the optimal Safer Sex experience. None of these are perfect and they are not mutually exclusive. They all have their pitfalls – condoms can break, partners can lie or be lied to, immune systems can break down, lust can overcome good judgement, etc. As a result, using several of them is probably the safest

One belief system I would call  Latex Barriers  which involves using latex condoms, gloves, dental dams, etc as barriers for germs.

One belief system I would call  Know and Trust Your Partners  which involves developing relationships before having sex, sharing sexual histories, getting tested and retested for STD’s before having sex without barriers and making agreements about how new partners are introduced into the closed system.

One belief system I would call the Boost Your Immune System and trust the wisdom of your body. This involves getting sufficient rest, good nutrition, avoiding environmental toxics, drugs, alcohol, creating a low stress life style and learning to listen to the subtle (or not so subtle) cues of your body about what it needs and wants for optimum health, including avoiding intimate contact with others who are less than 100% healthy and being careful about personal cleanliness (ie washing hands, sex toys, etc) between partners.

One belief system I would call Monastic. It says the only truly safe sex is masturbation, which can be done in the company of others if desired, but does not involve intimate physical contact.

I don’t think I ever talked about “energy” in any way, shape, or form as related to STDs, although one of my former teaching partners may have 10 years ago or more – we stopped teaching together at least 10 years ago. I can’t really understand how my teaching could be construed as rumoured except that anything not conforming to the “latex orthodoxy” is heresy and therefore must be squashed. Or perhaps my speaking on the same platform with Serena D’anderlini has restimulated the whole issue.

I’ve been reluctant to even discuss the subject publically for years, but perhaps silence is not the best policy.


Deborah Anapol

Thank you all for helping me pass on her actual beliefs, and thank you Deborah for being so understanding and forgiving for me having been one of those folks who passed on information without double checking.  Special thanks to Aiden for holding me to my belief in authenticity and integrity.

Lee Harrington


Lee Harrington

Lee Harrington is an internationally known sexuality, relationships, and personal authenticity educator. Having taught in all 50 states and in 6 countries, he brings a combination of playful engagement and thoughtful academic dialogue to a broad audience. An award-winning author and editor on gender, sexual, and sacred experience, his books include “Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Journeys,” and "Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond," among many other titles. He has been blogging online since 1998, and been teaching worldwide since 2001. Welcome to his world, and your chance to expand your mind and heart alike.

One Comment:

  1. Lee, you know I have always respected you. This raises you a notch in my eyes because so few people are willing to act as honorably as you did. Thank you for being awesome.

    Much Love,

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