Collective Erotic and Evolving Wisdom

My words are not just my own. Progressive struggles—whether thry are focused on racism, repression, poverty, or other issues—are doomed to fail if they do not also attempt to develop a consciousness of the insidious promotion of capitalist individualism. Even Nelson Mandela always insisted that his accomplishments were collective, always also achieved by the men and women who were his comrades, the media attempted to sanctify him as a heroic individual.  – Angela Y. Davis, “Freedom is A Constant Struggle: Ferguson, Palestine, and the Foundations of a Movement” In my 20+ years in the public kink, BDSM, Leather, and alternative…

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The Many Paths of Earthly Bondage

Persons Face Bound

The Many Paths of Earthly Bondage: Bondage as a Tool towards Spiritual Release by Lee Harrington I began my path towards bondage as an energetic tool at the age of six.  In a household that I longed to run from, my baby Basque feet itchy and ready for the road, I wrapped my body in layers of electrical cording and big fuzzy blankets and created a cocoon.  Inside my shell I was safe.  Inside my shell I was protected.  I created a psychic wall against the world by using my bonds as a tool to focus that protective energy –…

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Support, Safety Pins, and Alienating Allies

This weekend, I had the opportunity to be at a beautiful conference surrounded by friends and areers, old and new, which I needed dearly in light of the election having happened just days before. A few of the attendees decided to host a lunch-time gathering to discuss our concerns of the fallout that might be coming from how the election had gone, and how we can move forward in light of it. You see, the conference was richly populated by lesbian, gay, pansexual, and queer folks of a variety of ages, racial backgrounds, and gender expressions. We had transgender tribe amongst…

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GWNN Friday Keynote: Forgiveness and Making Change as Sexual Athletes

The following was the Friday keynote for GWNN Bash 23, which took place August 19, 2016. For those who were there, you will note that this is not the exact piece that was delivered. My hope is to have the video up in the next month. However, I wanted those interested to see the piece on forgiveness and making change – because all of us in sexuality populations are sexual athletes who have a chance to make it better… today. *** I’m really honored to be here at GWNN Bash. Can you believe this is the 23rd annual event? That…

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Art and Gender

“If a painter paints, perhaps an artist arts. When they are painting, an artist is arting.” – Darrell Lynn I had a dream last night. I was in Portland, or San Francisco, hanging out with some random leather women, some of whom I clearly knew. My waking mind does not know their faces, but I know I knew them. While discussing leather community title holding, groups I had been part of, communities that rarely gathered, the topic turned to my gender transition. A well-meaning brunette in short black boots, sheer black pantyhose, a black leather skirt, glittering low-cut black short-sleeved…

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Love Languages of Grief

My body is aching, shoulders weary, with over 3000 miles before I sleep in my bed for one night. Then back out the day for another 3500 before I see my love. This trip was worth every minute. Every sore muscle. Every flexed piece of grief and hope and solace. Every hand squeezed and bottle of water filled. Every floor swept and bag lifted. Every whisper shared and story heard. Every tear I bore witness to or held space for. Every moment. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. How could I? I had folks ask if I had…

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The Pegasus and The Centaur

I have been a very happy Pegasus for most of my life. I love flying, love the way the clouds taste as the tickle the underside of my nose. There is something delectable about saving Greek heroes from their folly, showing up unexpected with just the thing to say. It is not always easy being a monster, but I like it. I feel good with it. “You are not a monster” I hear a lot of folks tell me. Monsters have tentacles and fangs and gore dripping from their pores. Monsters plague dreams. But I tell you, no, I am…

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Protecting and Mentoring Our Own

In the past decade, a thing has blossomed up in a variety of kink communities called “protecting.” Scanning internet profiles there are notes that say “protected by NastyMaster844” or “protecting NastySlave844,” that indicate to me as the viewer some sort, of well, protecting. What are these individuals being protected from? Are there flying bullets that a bodyguard can step in front of, or swords swung that an errant knight can somehow save you? In some cases, the answer is that the individual being protected is being saved from themselves – well-intentioned beginners or passionate perverts who have a habit of…

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Access to Medical Care

My mother, Bonnie Kay Jauregui, was a beautiful, powerful woman who was plagued with the shadows of her past. Loving to those she cherished and fierce at holding her ground, she was proud of her work. But more than that, her contribution to her work, to her value on this planet, was something that she found unconsciously necessary to her life on this planet. A trait I share with her, though I have become highly aware of my internal story about that need to be of value as a reason to live. In the last few years of her life,…

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Protecting and Mentoring Our Own

In the past decade, a thing has blossomed up in a variety of kink communities called “protecting.” Scanning internet profiles there are notes that say “protected by NastyMaster844” or “protecting NastySlave844,” that indicate to me as the viewer some sort, of well, protecting. What are these individuals being protected from? Are there flying bullets that a bodyguard can step in front of, or swords swung that an errant knight can somehow save you? In some cases, the answer is that the individual being protected is being saved from themselves – well-intentioned beginners or passionate perverts who have a habit of…

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