Teaching Skills, Dominance, and Submission

Hello beautiful beings, This past Wednesday it was my honor to host a discussion/teach on “Approaches to Designing Adult Learning Classes” as part of my Weekly Wednesday series. What a great crew! I feel so honored to have gotten to curate that conversation. By the end of the class we had a few topics that had been asked about that we did not get to, so I’ve decided it will be continued on December 30th – put it on your calendar in advance! For those who couldn’t make it, I wanted to share it. Feel free to share this around…

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Disability, Sexuality, and Teaching Skills

Hello beautiful beings, About 15 years ago I went to a CARAS conference in Chicago, and as someone who is passionate about sexuality in general, I felt moved to attend the aging and BDSM class at the event. The presenter talked about their own experience and body realities that can change, and over the course of their 40 minute lecture, the summary of their message was that the older you get, you should become more dominant as you age. By doing so you can find hot younger people to take care of you. The presenter asked if we had any questions. Sitting…

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LadySpeech, Supporting Our Own, and Musical Eroticism

Hello beautiful beings, There is an amazing speaker, activist, sex worker, and spiritual leader that I need to introduce you to. If you already know the work, good, because you will likely agree that if folks don’t  know about LadySpeeck Sankofa, they should. If you have ever seen the first powerful images of a black woman smudging the police, that is LadySpeech (shown). If you are someone who is inspired by divination, spirit work, and kink alike – that is LadySpeech. If you believe in revolutionary voices for Black lives and liberation, mixed with attitude, sass, and profound power – that…

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Happy Halloween, Remembered Dead, Erotic Roleplaying, and Disabilities

Happy Halloween and blessed Samhain beautiful beings, I write to you tonight when the veil is thin between the worlds. This is the first full moon on a Halloween since 1944, and for those of us who celebrate Samhain, where we honor the dead and turn the wheel of the year, it is powerful indeed. I have already spent part of the evening making food for, and enjoying it with, those who have died and are amongst the honored dead.  Earlier today I cleared a sacred sex altar I had built a few months ago and preparing an altar for…

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Embodiment, Rope, and Mourning

Hello beautiful beings, Last weekend it was such an honor to be part of a panel on “LGBTQ Queerbodied Intimacy/Sexuality and Relating to Self and Others” for the Embodiment Conference. It was such an honor getting to share virtual space with Ayelet Natan(Israel), Ayo Gry  (Germany), Dr. Robert Allan (Denver, USA), and our wonderful host Moran Bodner (Israel). We shared our wounds, our tools for self-connection, our hopes, and how we are building space for our individual experiences of queerness. You can go here to get some of the resources and notes from the panel, or (since not the live presentation), access the class through a paid event registration.…

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Nonbinary and Intersex, Intentional Relationships, and Polyamory

Hello beautiful beings, Whew! This past week was a rollercoaster! You heard the adventure lineup in last week’s newsletter, and thank you so much to all the folks that came out to Folsom Street Fair Online, my classes at Black Thorn, Wicked Grounds, Academy of Fetish Arts, or were part of the two very tender topic’s conversations I hosted with Sam Savage at Nerd Somatics. Those discussions were intense for me emotionally. Sam and I did a lot of processing work with each other prepping for the conversations on naming harmful behavior and abuse in polyamory metamour relationships. We each have had our own experiences…

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Han Solo, Magick, and Erotic Skillbuilding

Hello beautiful beings, This weekend I had the honor of co-teaching “Turning It Around: Switching Places in the Bedroom” with Ms. Cenna at the Virtual Intimacy Retreat. Having 20+ passionate people open up about their nervousness around sharing their fantasies and desires, as well as their uncertainties around how to deliver those desires, was really beautiful. One of the things we talked about was what I call the “Hans Solo Effect,” where people who grew up during and after Star Wars saw a leading man approach a dominant woman and do some toxic and yet sexy behavior.  Hans comes before Leia and says, effectively,…

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Gender, Creative Education, and Bedroom Switching

Hello beautiful beings, This weekend thus far has felt like a blessing when it comes to education. During the at home encouragement/lock-down/pandemic I have decided to prioritize education, offering donation based weekly classes, teaching on multiple platforms for groups and conferences around the world, running online intensives… but also attending educational events. Whether it is going to rope safety classes with Shay Tiziano, taking a multi-month tarot series with Jade T. Perry, attending the first Virtual Intimacy Retreat back in June, or many other things – it has been important to me. I feel like as an educator I’ve been taking this time to level-up…

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Emotional Fatigue and Erotic Negotiation

Hello beautiful beings, Today I am tired. The card of the day (you can follow here on Instagram or Facebook) was the Four of Cups from the Modern Witch Tarot, and it’s interesting how much I empathize with both the Contemplation face of this card as well as the Apathy. I am exhausted emotionally while simultaneously grateful for what I have. Tired of dream-time issues, tired of internal self-evaluations, tired from trans fatigue. Empathy fatigue. Trans fatigue is the feeling that comes from constantly teaching trans 101. From reading online about yet another trans murder, yet another celebrity saying we don’t exist, having to…

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Body Mod, Fetishes, and 50 Shades of Perspective

Hello beautiful beings, Buckle in, this newsletter is a little longer due to some personal reflections. If you just want upcoming classes, feel free to scroll to the end. This week has felt very go go go, but in a deeply satisfying sort of way. Meredith Muse and I have been locking down the final details for this weekend’s intensive, practicing some of the magickal and intellectual technologies we will be using, and going through our plans to make sure she and I are ready to go. Part of that energetically for me was hosting a discussion yesterday as an…

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