Pieces of Passion 11 – Crazy Little Thing Called… Fucking Outside

I find myself this weekend at Free Spirit Alliance’s Sacred Sexuality Beltane. Already I have debuted my newest class: “Desired Object, Forgotten Object: Objectification for Animists” that went really well, went to a lovely opening ritual, and went for a long hike through the woods to find an abandoned cabin overlooking the river where ravens were roosting before playing in the woods with my hiking companion… so, in honor of Beltane…

Pieces of Passion
Piece #11- Crazy Little Thing Called… Fucking Outside

Cause it’s the first of May, first of May
Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady
Or at least your favorite lay
The water’s not cold baby dip in your big toe
Maybe I’ll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside
-from “First of May” by Jonathan Coulton

That’s right, its May Day, Beltane, which means the time honored tradition of outdoor sex. Outdoor sex is both incredibly easy and ridiculously frustrating if a few things are not considered in advance.

What? You mean it’s not all spontaneous? Oh, it can be, but like the boyscout motto says- “Be Prepared.”

You will need:
-Something to put down on the ground/against the tree/on the rock, etc. (if you choose not to, be prepared for grass burn, allergy reactions, bug bites, bugs on you, random animal poop, or other such things)
-Protection against STDs. (just because it’s outside doesn’t mean you don’t need a condom, gloves, dams, etc- and take it back home with you- they don’t bio degrade so well)
-Lube or other sex toys (I keep a sample-sized lube in my jacket pocket along with 2 condoms, just in case- and a bandanna can become an easy blindfold, a belt can be fast bondage)
-A sense of humor (stuff will go in an unplanned manner. Be willing to roll with the punches, laugh off a stick poking you in the back or a squirrel watching you quizzically)

Now all you need is a place for outdoor sex! Backyards with high fences are an easy option (your own preferably), while spots in the middle of nowhere are a good bet too. Giant parks, no matter how giant they are, run the risk of people coming along- which can add to the thrill, and the legal risk- weigh them out as consenting adults.

Points of note:
-Sand in your clothes or on your skin has an uncanny ability to get into condoms, be careful! Wash off lest the grain break down the latex or cause abrasion in other ways.
-Rain and sex is nice if its warm, hilarious if it’s muddy, but can lead to illnesses etc if it turns cold fast.
-On really hot days sex might be just the thing- but beware of dehydration and sun stroke- other forms of stroking is much more fun!

Have a merry Beltane!

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Lee Harrington

Lee Harrington is an internationally known sexuality, relationships, and personal authenticity educator. Having taught in all 50 states and in 6 countries, he brings a combination of playful engagement and thoughtful academic dialogue to a broad audience. An award-winning author and editor on gender, sexual, and sacred experience, his books include “Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Journeys,” and "Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond," among many other titles. He has been blogging online since 1998, and been teaching worldwide since 2001. Welcome to his world, and your chance to expand your mind and heart alike.

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