Humor- Pineapple Gland Restoration

So, I tried to spell check, and that was dumb. My machine tried to turn a Pineal Gland into a Pineapple Gland.

I thus give you for my amusement….

Pineapple Gland Restoration

In our day to day life, we can find ourselves over-exposing our pineapple glands. Near-colada experiences and over-exposure to teriyaki can leave us drained of our vital essences, and leave us, upon arriving at con-parties, unable to provide our own mixers.

Thus, consider the wide and varied tools to help restore your pineapple gland:

– Submersion in those that rely upon pineapple juice. This includes engaging in deep Crown of Roses working, engaging your own Tahitian Pearl, or of course having Sex on the Beach.

– Take a vacation to Hawai’i, Brazil, Paraguay, or various parts of SouthEast Asia.

– Meditate on the knowledge that the fruit of a pineapple are arranged in two interlocking helices, eight in one direction, thirteen in the other; each being a Fibonacci number.

– As a human made of meat, your pineapple gland provides a tenderizer for your spirit. Engage in your open, black heart of tenderizedness.

– Go on the Dole.

– Fresh pineapple is difficult to ship, and so it is for your pineapple gland. Stay at home, stay warm, and keep from getting a chill.

– Make a tart of yourself.

– Find ways to be raw.

By restoring our pineapple glands, we can come to be truly balanced, and C ourselves for our full potential.


Lee Harrington

Lee Harrington is an internationally known sexuality, relationships, and personal authenticity educator. Having taught in all 50 states and in 6 countries, he brings a combination of playful engagement and thoughtful academic dialogue to a broad audience. An award-winning author and editor on gender, sexual, and sacred experience, his books include “Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Journeys,” and "Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond," among many other titles. He has been blogging online since 1998, and been teaching worldwide since 2001. Welcome to his world, and your chance to expand your mind and heart alike.

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