So, I tried to spell check, and that was dumb. My machine tried to turn a Pineal Gland into a Pineapple Gland.
I thus give you for my amusement….
Pineapple Gland Restoration
In our day to day life, we can find ourselves over-exposing our pineapple glands. Near-colada experiences and over-exposure to teriyaki can leave us drained of our vital essences, and leave us, upon arriving at con-parties, unable to provide our own mixers.
Thus, consider the wide and varied tools to help restore your pineapple gland:
– Submersion in those that rely upon pineapple juice. This includes engaging in deep Crown of Roses working, engaging your own Tahitian Pearl, or of course having Sex on the Beach.
– Take a vacation to Hawai’i, Brazil, Paraguay, or various parts of SouthEast Asia.
– Meditate on the knowledge that the fruit of a pineapple are arranged in two interlocking helices, eight in one direction, thirteen in the other; each being a Fibonacci number.
– As a human made of meat, your pineapple gland provides a tenderizer for your spirit. Engage in your open, black heart of tenderizedness.
– Go on the Dole.
– Fresh pineapple is difficult to ship, and so it is for your pineapple gland. Stay at home, stay warm, and keep from getting a chill.
– Make a tart of yourself.
– Find ways to be raw.
By restoring our pineapple glands, we can come to be truly balanced, and C ourselves for our full potential.