I have this book packed in my bag for my Service Slut and I to work on some more…
Pieces of Passion
Piece #7 Ask Some Quality Questions
“It’s not that you got the wrong answer… I just didn’t get asked the right question I think.”
One of my first partners said that to me one day, and I still think about it. We ask things of ourselves and our partners all the time like “how was your day” or “are you ok,” but they don’t really *ask* anything. So I’m working still on improving this idea of asking quality questions. Some of my favorites right now include:
* What about that turns you on?
* Why do you find yourself drawn to it?
* Who has touched you the most in your life?
* Where would you go for a dream vacation if money were no object (and why?)
* What is your Zombie Apocalypse plan?
* When did you first realize you were into that?
Intellectual Foreplay, by Eve Hogan (I got mine signed by her when visiting Maui), is a great place to get some questions. Some? Ha! Thousands. There are questions for yourself too, not just for you and your partner, because the reality is we have to be good partners for ourselves and really spend some time being introspective before we can offer ourselves fully to another. If someone asks us why we’re into something, it’s really helpful to have considered it before.
Ok, she doesn’t ask about zombies. But its still a good book. Even if its very monogamy focused, vanilla assumptive (but LGBT friendly)- run with it, we can find wisdom anywhere.